Apology

The most bizarre thing happened to me last night.

Someone from my past came over for a visit and started to apologize to me for all the wrongdoings he had done and ask for forgiveness.

As I sat there blinking and acted stupid for a couple of minutes, my mind raced to find what actually went wrong. I was so dumbstruck for so long that for awhile this person thought I've gone mad.

The irony was that I didnt even know we had any misunderstandings all these years although I did wonder why the friendship was cut short.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I didnt realize my own mistakes, I have always had the assumption that I didnt go out there taking my friends for granted but I've been an open book without the intention to hurt anyone.

I ended up apologizing as well as I didnt realize I had hurt the person by being aloof, careless and unintentionally let go of something that would've made me very happy now.


I doubt any of you reading this would understand my babbling............

What's in the Past....should stay in the Past.

I'm not sure why but when I think back of my old-flames - good and funny memories comes first and foremost. I think thats quite a good outlook for my life, eh? I've had my share of hurting, badly I must say. However, the first thing that pops into my brain when I think of them are the good times and all the horrible BUT fun things we did together as a couple.

Obviously the reason I'm writing about this is because one of them called the other day and I was civil enough and wanted to know how I was doing. Well I can be honest here..........he wanted to pursue me back again BUT with all kinds regulations because he's been hurt. (Did I mention he was the one who dumped me to marry another?)

With a smile on my face, I was calm when I said thanks but no thanks. But if he need a friend, he has my number.

A day of Cooking

I SUCK at cooking!!!!

Yesterday was my day in the kitchen. Right after work......... I jumped right in. And immediately the headache accompanied as well. Suffice to say, my whole family also thinks the day I'm supposed to cook is their nightmare as well. (Mainly coz I will force them to eat my hideous tasting cooking). Somehow even after years of this torture my mum still insists that I cook. She thinks she'll be able to 'correct' this deform of mine by being persistent.

I love nasi campur so my menu was kerang masak lemak, ikan asam pedas, bayam goreng and telur asin. Rich and yet so satisfying.........Surprisingly it turned out well, I didnt burn the kitchen down, minor accident with the knife AND my rice turned out perfect! Fabulous -:))

Why is it So Difficult to Remain Casual Friends with the Opposite Sex

I have a generous number of friends.

Platonically, I've always been closer to my female counterparts. I have only 1 good buddy who is of the masculine sex and its truly fully platonic with no sexual connotation whatsoever. I must admit, its easier to be close to men than it is with women. I'm not sure why or is it just me .


Male friends are also easier maintained. But I must say, it will always lead down the same way......however good or close of a friend we are........it will somehow lead to some sort of a sexual nature if only one loses grip.

I dont know, given the option I do prefer to be around my male acquaintance but I cannot handle the sexual tension that naturally comes when expectations and feelings are entertwined.