Love......Found...........& LOST

Shadow told me that I am a serious type of person who loves easily and am happy giving it although I myself may not be squarely happy.

How so true........My hope of finding and meeting someone in a distance far away land was banished by a bird......What that hope is, I'm not really sure and I dont think I will ever find out. Blessing in disguise? I doubt it. I thot a bird will show me how to fly, spread my wings, see the value, but I'm redha.....if its not meant to be.

Will I cry? NO. That is not me. Will I come up with a horrendous long list of why it may not come true? Will I knock myself out with depression? Probably not if my will is strong enough. What I will do is to close a chapter.

Before last weekend ended, I managed to annoy the living daylights of the bird in Erbil. Having said that, I thought how two different souls could be so mismatched but yet so attractively pulled towards one another. No explanations..................

After dinner on Friday, spent a quiet time reminiscing how the whole week had gone by. Need more soul searching. Other than work, I dont see anything interesting to write about. It seems to obliterate my waking hour to no end. Time to get productive.

Saturday n Sunday, did some volunteer work. Managed to catch EPL in between. Liverpool smashed Chelsea and Arsenal beating the hell out of MU. What a scene..........

Angel In Disguise

A bird in Erbil told me that miracles are everywhere.

Who would've thought that it would happen to me of all humankind? I'm floating aimlessly, all the time wondering what is the triumph of life? Hope is something that pushes me forward. Seems the Universe work in mysterious ways. When you give the more you receive. And I'm happy to note that reaping the benefits isjust like licking a lollypop that just wont end, SWEET.... :))

Time to Work!

The year started with a big bang.
I'm slowly coming down to earth after two weeks of birthday celebration.
Its the best so far.
Lunches, dinners, outings and good times are over.

Work has steadily moved and gaining momentum.
Time to be focused once again.
I'm putting the vacation on the back burner unless someone out there is willing to go with me.

One thing's for sure. This year is gonna be an 'activity year'
And first on the agenda................WHITE WATER RAFTING

P/s Will there be enough time to learn how to swim?
If I dont float, the worst that can happen......I'll sink :))

New Beginning....

The last day of 2006 was my birthday and Eid-ul-Adha. What a combination. Literally, my sacrifice was to spend time at the old folks home and bringing all kinds of goodies I could afford. Mentally my sacrifice for the coming year is to be less selfish (if I can help it). My dad said there's no such thing as less selfish. Only one or the other. Is that so? I shall wait and see.....

The day began and since it was Eid its the normal activities that came with the celebration that took center stage. With my new formed resolution, I kept my cool and embraced it. Lots of cleaning, cooking and entertaining of family, friends and relatives. Tired but felt I've achieved some of things I wanted to do before the year ends. I love entertaining and the whole day is bittersweet with laughter, teasing of getting 'older' and the inevitable question of when I'm getting married and settling down, etc.

The fun part came when the countdown began and I was actually at home looking out my window after a hectic day and seeing how beautiful the fireworks and the fact that I could still feel at awe and even contemplating how wonderful the day had been. Surprisingly I wasnt counting the calm I felt. It was different from previous years when I made it a point to have a party somewhere and be 'happening' in KL in the name of celebrating life. Now it all felt fake. Is this how grown up feels like? -:) Pure bliss, settled at home among loved ones and rested.

The next day, I met few of my close friends to rejoice my day and we decided to go bowling. Lots of jeering and laughter and as I look around me, its the same faces that has been with me for more than 10 years and who I cherished very much for being with me through thick and thin. Dessert of the day was strawberry cheesecake, (which is my favourite) and more laughter till we dragged our weary body back home with promises to do another activity for the next one in line to celebrate her birthday.

The sweet icing on the cake came when LEO called to wish me again and we talked for more than 15min. and he told me he's doing alright. I dont have to worry anymore.

I will not trade what went on the last day of 2006 and the start of 2007 for anything else and for some reason I can feel that this year, I'll be balanced with ups and downs that I can manage and I will persevere because I have lots of love within me to give away and for a fact it will be reciprocated back to me. GOD Willing.......I will find the calm and be merry.

Happy New Year!