The day the illusion shatters

At first it was such a disbelief, then comprehending it, lastly acceptance. As always i get too caught up and the maternal instinct came out. Just when i thought i couldnt take one more bad news i come to a realization wherever i'm needed there's where i feel worth. I know this will also pass and it will be ok, i just know it and i pray to GOD i will not lose him. As i drifted off to sleep last night, the last dejavu came pouring in of the three of us; always talking and laughing. Noormi, i miss you always.

I hate the word 'JUST FRIENDs'

The truth hurts especially when you start being yourself around the people you love. Yes, thats the exact emotion i'm feeling now or else it would not have hurt so much. I dont want to be over-sensitive because its tiring and childish. I pride myself on being practical about stuff but I dont know why this time the mis-understanding digs deeper.....is it because I always fear of not being good enough? Or is it because i think i tried hard to please all the time only to realize that it falls short? Is that why i look for validation at every single turn?

Its an emotional roller coaster that i wish no one has to go through. Close a chapter? move on as if nothing happens? God knows i've made the same mistake myself so why am i spoiling for a fight?

Because it maters..........It matters so much, you matter and so am I.

Now if only my head could listen :(