Loneliness plays a dirty trick on the mind that leads to unforgiveful actions. These actions sadly calls for accountability. On the other hand, ego and pride feed superficial needs. Having said that there's an unexplainable satisfaction, greed and lust entertwined.
So does that make me a bitch? Ruled by no one's paradigm, own carefree rules or should I say lack of them? 18th October mark another milestone by which will forever etch itself in my brain and so much more.
I dont want to be a bad person. Lately, I want a lot of things that I made myself restraint from it so much that when it broke loose, my inhibitians shot out the window. I took whatever came my way without any care where it will lead to. I dont want to think too much into anything that was thrown in my path. I went beyond all of my own rules and perhaps when I call it a 'rule' is when I feel I should take all means to ruin it even though I'm not sure whether its good or not for me.
I thought my head would explode from everythg that I had to endure. I have to be honest; even if its just to myself. I'm just tired. Tired of thinking too much, tired of worrying, tired of 'what if(s)', tired of letting others walk all over me and mostly tired of putting others' interests before mine.
I just want to feel the tiniest bit of happiness if there is such a thing even for a molecule of a second. I just want to be pampered, I just want to feel, I just want it all without having to reason with anyone and explaining myself and justifying why and what and when and how and IF.
ME...........it should all be about me and for once I want to be selfish about it.
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