I woke up this morning, fresh. So fresh and i remembered i slept for more than 8hours and it was the kind of deep rest that makes you got up centered. As i was having breakfast an hour later i could recall back the 'dream' i had......
I was at home, doing chores and i was talking with an animated and smiley face and i actually looked happy. Not a put-up face i normally have on nowadays. And in this 'dream' i only see myself, its as if in the box/tv that i'm watching the camera was focused solely on me and the things i was doing and the things i was saying. I keep thinking that whomever i was talking to must be someone i adored and loves listening to my rambling or else i would not have this enchanted look i have on. It finally looked as if im having a good time doing chores of all things and most importantly i look contented. Now there's a word i havent used in such a long time. And the longer i watched this 'dream' unfold in the back of my head, it dawned on me that this is something i've done before - putting around the house, talking, laughing, jesting, and fussing over someone - thousands of times....where was it? who is it for? why am i so happy?
Then the camera swoops around and slowly the scene unfold in front of me. IT WAS ME AND YOU, and the times we spent years ago. I was happy, so happy that even playing house seems enough then. All that mattered was being around you, spending time with you and hearing your dry remarks of all the nonsence i went through and relaying the stuff i went throughout the day and how you relish everything i said and everything i did seem funny and exciting to you. IT WAS ME AND YOU doing everyday things together and sharing it. IT WAS ME AND YOU spending precious time and that was enough.
I miss you and i have been missing you. So many incidents happened since then and i keep missing you. But so many others around me needed me and i didnt have time to stop and think. I had to put up a front and looked ok and as if life is good and i'm on top of the world. When in fact, i'm a mess. I cant show this to anyone much less reach out to anyone as you've been my rock all these while. You're the only one who knows what i mean even when i'm not saying it. Be it pride, embarrassment or even an out right lie.
Empty spaces filled me up with hope. I tried to go on like i never knew you. I am awake but my world is half asleep. I prayed for this heart to be unbroken. Sometimes I wonder if we made a big mistake. Without you i feel incomplete.
I wish a l ot of things, i wish things didnt pan out the way it did. I wish we could have the happy ending like so many others. For now all i could do is to go on and have faith.
I just miss you.........
I was at home, doing chores and i was talking with an animated and smiley face and i actually looked happy. Not a put-up face i normally have on nowadays. And in this 'dream' i only see myself, its as if in the box/tv that i'm watching the camera was focused solely on me and the things i was doing and the things i was saying. I keep thinking that whomever i was talking to must be someone i adored and loves listening to my rambling or else i would not have this enchanted look i have on. It finally looked as if im having a good time doing chores of all things and most importantly i look contented. Now there's a word i havent used in such a long time. And the longer i watched this 'dream' unfold in the back of my head, it dawned on me that this is something i've done before - putting around the house, talking, laughing, jesting, and fussing over someone - thousands of times....where was it? who is it for? why am i so happy?
Then the camera swoops around and slowly the scene unfold in front of me. IT WAS ME AND YOU, and the times we spent years ago. I was happy, so happy that even playing house seems enough then. All that mattered was being around you, spending time with you and hearing your dry remarks of all the nonsence i went through and relaying the stuff i went throughout the day and how you relish everything i said and everything i did seem funny and exciting to you. IT WAS ME AND YOU doing everyday things together and sharing it. IT WAS ME AND YOU spending precious time and that was enough.
I miss you and i have been missing you. So many incidents happened since then and i keep missing you. But so many others around me needed me and i didnt have time to stop and think. I had to put up a front and looked ok and as if life is good and i'm on top of the world. When in fact, i'm a mess. I cant show this to anyone much less reach out to anyone as you've been my rock all these while. You're the only one who knows what i mean even when i'm not saying it. Be it pride, embarrassment or even an out right lie.
Empty spaces filled me up with hope. I tried to go on like i never knew you. I am awake but my world is half asleep. I prayed for this heart to be unbroken. Sometimes I wonder if we made a big mistake. Without you i feel incomplete.
I wish a l ot of things, i wish things didnt pan out the way it did. I wish we could have the happy ending like so many others. For now all i could do is to go on and have faith.
I just miss you.........
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