FRIEND......LOST & FOUND

Leo, if you're reading this.........I'd like to say that I'm proud of you.

Yada......yada......yada...I'm sure your confidence is nothing short than the highway to heaven but felt i needed to write abt it nonetheless. For sure, I'm gonna miss the company and esp. the laughter but not the whining :) Jgn mare.......

Anyway, another one bites the dust.......Oh well.......

BIG, BOLD & BEAUTIFUL

Ever heard of the Egyptian Proverb that says "A Beautiful Thing is Never Perfect" ?

I weigh approximately 100kg. While far from being beautiful, I wouldn't stop traffic either :D
So is the above saying merely a consolation?

Even in my wildest imagination, I never wished to be seen as someone who's beautiful. Yeah, I've heard of the saying 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder', 'beauty is skindeep', 'internal beauty', etc.

Oh! come onnnnnn...... who really digs that crap, eh? Call me vain but I believe before anyone could actually see anyone's beauty, the package has got to be right. I'm not just talking about physical looks (although for most its the first thing that attracts any human alive to actually seek to know the beauty inside of another person) but the core essence of someone.

Stereotypes have always seen that if you're beautiful, life is really at the palm of your hands. However for mere mortals with lesser 'value-adds' its general knowledge that everything's a struggle, Unless you're born in the right family with proper education and with the right connections.

Beautiful is subjective to everyone.
Like what Mae West said, "It is better to be looked over than overlooked........"

I believe somehow, GOD is fair in more ways than one.

AM I WORTHY?

I woke up early this morning and Oprah was on. Topic of the day was "Are U Worthy".

If the answer is YES, then you should be living life to the max. Sadly I think that for most, (esp. those who were abused at a young age - in any form) our lack of confidence and self worth is so beat-up that the answer is NO. If so, she posed a question to her audience at the end of her show - "Who am I". She said that once you understand who you are and what's your purpose in life, only then you can start the process of self healing because the thought of not being worth enough didnt come overnight. Its a gradual process. I pondered abt that show....

At times, I'm a semi-chameleon. I'm opinionated. However most of the times I would change my behaviour to suit the situation in addition to always being accommodative if its not contradicting to my core beliefs.

I feel that when we were born, we are whole. Then life begins (family, friends, work, etc.) and it chips away at you. Maybe for some, life comes on a silver platter. But for me, I've long accepted that my life is hard and a struggle. I've made bad choices, very bad indeed and I keep trying to make sense of it. I dont blame anyone else or have regrets because I made those choices. That is why personally, I am quite selective now about who I surround myself with and hope as I grow, I get wiser. God willing, I will strive.

If you've read my blog before, the following heading that I've posted clarified my heart-core with regards to this topic :-
1. "Soulmate" - posted on 12th Sept 06
2. "Bittersweet Weekend" - posted on 16th Sept 06
3. "What is Happiness" - posted on 3rd Oct 06

What is Right?

Is there any specific right way to chat?

Besides family, close friends, colleagues or someone you've been chatting with for years...........what is the norm that conform to the right way? What is a right way anyway? Talking to a stranger is hard enough other than mere facts that you could read from their profile, if any. No research has shown that a man is a better chatter than the next woman or vice versa. And other than few taboo subjects that are sure to rile some chatters, we would normally rationalize with common sense knolwedge.

There are lots of chatters out there who are merely bored and just wants to chat, nothing more. There are some who's looking for something and there are some who's online for a specific agenda. Other than sticking to conversations on the weather, food and other lame stuff, what are the barriers that we're supposed to follow? In short, there is no definite guidelines for chatters. To top it off, humans comes with all kinds of characteristics; sensitivie, direct, open, old-fashioned, etc....

Is trial and error still in fashion? I suppose that's one good way to ascertain certain individuals. Perhaps, another is to bite the bait when the other person throws you a topic and go on from there. Daringly you could become the arse-hole, throw caution to the wind and be damned if the other person likes talking to u or not and proceed with your agenda.

Nothing beats chatting with someone who's funny and able to carry a discussion that you're passionate about too. But what are the odds of that? More times than not, you'd come across someone who's not even able to hold a decent conversation to begin with and you cannot bring yourself to be rude or polite (however u see it) to cut it off short. Giving the benefit of the doubt, you keep on hoping for something more/better.

Having said all that, I'm not even sure I am such a 'hot chatter' myself or a boring candidate !!!

DIFFERENT STROKES

I guess u can never fully understand another person's life until you've lived it yourself.

There's no amount of information that you can read about, listen to or even heard of that suffice you to think you know what the person is going through. So how do we know what to do or how to be a friend to someone in need? I suppose we can try to imagine after years of knowledge gathering. However, the sentiment will never be the same as we are not the one who goes through the motion. At times when we try to emphatize and show compassion, we end up hurting the other party rather than helping.

At best and since all else failed, what I did was to listen, be there when needed and keep an open mind hoping the simplest gesture would bring some sense of relief.

Where's the Romance?

Romantic is subjective..............I'm sure u guys out there will be the first one to agree ::))

Check out my recent conversation with a colleague of mine ......

Me : Why is it that women go 'goo-goo gaa-gaa' when they receive a bouquet of flowers while seconds ago swearing men off.
Aaron :Coz flowers are beautiful and the one we think of at the top of our head in exchange of the words 'SORRY' that will fall on women's deaf ears anyway.
Me : Now why would any men send flowers instead of plants? Plants are alive and will continue to grow while flowers will wilt and die once u cut them. So why send flowers to women when u know its short-lived?
Aaron : May be coz men have short-term goals !!

Toink! Toink! Toink! Call me a sexist pig Ladies and Gs.......

The Grass is Always Greener on the Other Side??

In a society full of over-zealous and over-bearing humans, I sometimes pine for what might've been and what-if-s that my outlook in life at times becomes so distorted. Until..... a knock .....and I do mean 'knocked' literally.

Come Monday, I always find myself going in 10 diffent directions doing 10 different stuff all in one go. It doesnt necessarily make me a wonder-woman who's able to multi-task. Its just a show-down that I'm disorganized.

So as I was scurrying - yet to plan for item no 11 this morning (and its only 930am), I ran into a cubicle and was knocked down, spilling my first coffee of the day (that is supposed to make me appear human enough) in front of Mr-Smarty-Pants !!!! Urgh.......what I wouldnt give for the office floor to open up and just swallow me in. Instead of making me feel like a loony-toon after that little acrobatic show (definitely a 'Kodak Moment'), Mr-Smarty-Pants actually went out of his way to make sure I was OK.

Aaawwww..........chivalry's still in fashion.

Do I still need to say more?