Reminiscing...

The Holy Grail of all negotiators is a 'win/win' outcome - one that works for both parties. What neither of us ever wants is to feel that we are in a 'no win' situation. If I feel that I am going to lose out, no matter what I agree to, or if you feel the same way about the options I am presenting, our mutual respect is going to diminish. Thankfully, I dont want to put you in a hopeless position either. There may be no perfect way to resolve this challenge now but lets come to a compromise.

Thanks for calling and caring :)

Truth or Dare?

The only reason i'm posting this is to remind myself how choices made a huge impact and my own guiding principles in life.......

Ray :  Hey, how are you today?
Me :  Errrr....i'm alright.  Yourself?
Ray :  I'm having back-pain, so I asked the doctor - will sex help?  (grinning and looks like he wants to talk further)
Me :  Mmmmm... i guess depends on the position?(very uncomfortable now)
Ray :  Hheheheeheeh, enough about me.  I wanted to talk to you about him.  So.....have you spoken to him lately?
Me :  Yeah.  What about him?
Ray :  You know, i'm worried abt him.  For years and years I've always wondered why he seems to always be looking, searching, restless, I dont know why he's so unhappy.  You know, we as friends - and mind you its been ages!  We dont judge, we would accept him as he is, you know?
Me :  No, i dont think i know what you're getting at.
Ray :  (Looking flustered with my steady gaze keeps bumbling around now for god knows what - i could only assume the right words)
Me : Say it Ray
Ray :  Uh....u know, errr...well.....u know....i mean u know.....
Me :  Say it
Ray :  ummmm....i mean well since...u know....emmm........
Me :  Say it!
Ray :  Is he u know?  I mean xxx? We are OK u know.
Me :  (Smiling and in a calm voice)  I have two questions for you Ray.  How would you like it if I asked point blank about you and PM?  And since you guys have been friends for years and mind you, YOU DONT JUDGE; why is it important for you to know anyway? 
Ray :  (Red-faced, jumping out of chair in a commanding voice)  Well, you know we have his best interests at heart.
Me :  Who are 'we' here? You're his friend as you so vehemently admits.  Why dont you reach out to him then?  Why are you asking me?
Ray :  (Storm out)
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For two hours i balled my eyes out twisting and turning and for almost two days had a huge migraine.  I dont know why it hurts to think that someone of that stature could bully me and get away with it.  I am the last person Ray should barrage with personal questions that doesnt fit.   I am sad and I hope with all my might I didnt have to go through it again.  I know I'll be seeing him often and it pains me. 

How could you not know these are the people you keep company with?  How could you stand them?  How on earth are they still important to you? 

All these years, my gut feel is right.  I wish you'd understand :(

A beacon of light........

Why bother? What's the point? Isn't life just one long round of dismal disappointments interspersed with irritating interactions?

I do my best, yet it doesn't seem to be good enough! But that's not really the whole story. There is another factor. I am alive. Every single moment of my existence is a precious gift. Beneath all the madness, there is the most amazing magic. The moment I stop to appreciate that, everything feels far better. Today, I feel and remembered how blessed I am to have you around.

Ya Allah, thank you for giving me a chance to breathe and live life :)

One day at a Time

I always wonder why some people argue that we humans, are hard-wired to resist change. We like to stick with what we know, even if we know that what we know isn't really worth knowing. A sense of familiarity brings comfort, yet still we find ourselves attracted to goods, services and ideas which are presented to us as 'new'. We generally like them better, though, if they turn out to be only a little bit new and not dramatically different. If you are now taking small steps towards some much-needed improvement, don't fear this change. 

Think back to a time in your life when you were very worried about a matter that eventually turned out well. If you could now send yourself a message back in time, what would it say? How would you try to communicate some reassurance? As for now, look ahead. Suppose that you are living in the future, some months or years from now. Things have worked out well. Your current cause for concern is clearly not as serious as you fear. What would you want to tell yourself? Listen out carefully for that news.

Dear LEO

I needed to talk to you but know its not the time and not too strong to face you.  So here goes.......
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Where is yesterday?  Behind you or ahead of you?  The answer largely depends on the direction in which you happen to be looking.  If you cant stop thinking about the past, you can hardly be expected to see a clear route from here to the future.  And if your history is now towering over you like some great hill in the distance, it may be casting a shadow over the world that lies before you, making it all seem unnecessarily bleak.  Find a way to reduce the height of that hill and the shadow will soon recede.

Dear,
Wish strongly, imagine wildly  and believe.  That in itself will kick-start you into self healing.  Its all in you whether you realize it or not.  The power of your thoughts, feelings and emotions is there....unleash it, body heart and soul.

Dear,
Personally my wish is for you to keep your sanity and love with all your might  for its a start to a beautiful and wonderful next phase of your life.

LOVE,
xoxoxo