Quiet Mind

I'm reading this wonderful book by David Kundtz - a one minute retreats from a busy world. The first part captured my thoughts and he says,

"Do nothing, but do it with purpose and meaning. Do it to become fully awake, to remember who you are and what's really important."

How apt.

Surprise

I just realized that I'm happy. So was I un-happy minutes ago? I cant really answer that. Honestly, I wasnt thinking about it until I asked that question to myself. So I should just accept that - for now I'm happy and however fleeting the moment is going to last, I will enjoy it.

Relax

Last weekend had me idling away my time at the beach again. This time I went wt Jules and her friends, tagging along but surprisingly had a lovely time. Round trip to balik pulau and back within the day. Everytime i'm there I will always have a good time despite the heat, the traffic or even the nagging pests around. That's about as fun as I get nowadays.

Dreaming.....

I woke up from a deep slumber this morning and a fleeting thought of my-EX came rushing by. I didnt know why I lingered in bed wanting to capture the dream.

Somehow the good thoughts was utmost glaring to me. How easy it was to be myself around you. Talking to you fills me with joy and I couldnt wait to go home to you. I can act crazy with no care in the world yet knowing I will never be judged. The thousands of questions I had was always answered and explained to me as if I were a 5-year old and time and time again it was always given with a tilting smile as if you knew I had that particular silly ones just to amuse you.

It was like a happy playground wasn't it? As least it was to me. The calls were lengthy, the hugs were tight, the kisses were heavenly. I can still remember your smell, how your touch felt and how I melted each and every time. There were no awkwardness, there were no regrets, there was only acceptance.

Sigh...........how do time flies. Time to wake up!

Rude Awakening

When I started writing couple of years ago, it was meant as an outlet of all the repressed thoughts and actions in my daily life.

Somehow, over the years I skewed towards whats ethically and morally acceptable. More times than not, when I write it will be more of what is expected of me and as a form of entertaining others. I didnt realize when exactly that happened but obviously it changed along the way. So far only 2 opinion mattered. I have to admit, I did beautify incidences and omit most of the details partly to camouflage the verbatim and partly to protect others' feelings. I am guilty of tainting my own blog.

Coming back to mainstream and what I love doing.....I will write what I feel are close to heart.

Aha!

I should try to keep in mind that chaos is often something we attract rather than run into by chance

Another Full Weekend

Dear Blog,

Last weekend my weekend was full - spent it with my family. Jules came back, we cooked, I baked muffins and cakes and neighbours came visiting. Mum & Dad were OK and even my elder sis was having one of her 'good moods'. All in all, I felt satisfied. No incidences at all, everything seemed perfect for the time being.

Sunday, I went out with Jules to town and we spent the whole morning just walking about. Evening was another matter altogether. Quiet quality time with a loved one. Ahhh.......shouldn't all weekend be like this? Blissful heaven!

I surrender!

OK lah.........after failing miserably with my Bahasa entry, I must say at least I got a big kick out of it. Hey, if I'm not gonna make myself happy, who else would right? Worry not, I shall not write in Bahasa anymore and it just goes to confirm my F9 in Bahasa during Form 5 was legitimate. Hahahahaha............... One thing's for sure, this is why we need good friends around us. To tell us the brutal truth even if it sucks!

Anyway, I had fun last night with en elderly friend of mine, Kak Zah and Lan. We had steamboat at The Ikano Power Centre and bitched about the crazy stuff we used to do in our early days. It made me think how time flies and it was 14years ago that I started this job and I'm still at it. Thats' really pushing my ever-loving 'routine' to a max doesnt it? But I love what I'm doing and yes..... I am being complacent. I have had bosses who told me to branch out because they see the potential in me but I love being subservient to others. ( I wonder if this is a kind of sickness?) Its just that I'm so good at what I do.

And as if to affirm my worthiness, I just got my appraisal level today. Guess what? Its beyond my expectations. Oh sweet sweet success!

Cak Pong...........Cak Pong

Mamat Handsome : Dua Tiga Kucing Berlari, Mana Nak Sama Si Kucing Belang
: Dua Tiga Boleh Dicari, Mana Nak Sama Abang ni Sorang

Mamat kat office sorang ni memang boleh dikategorikan sebagai "Lelaki Melayu Terakhir". Walaupun begitu, beliau sendiri mengaku dirinya hebat dan sepatutnya digilai setiap perempuan bujang di office ni. Alkisahnya pantun di atas lalakan beliau sendiri. Yang herannya beliau sendiri percaya bahawasanya tiada lelaki lain yang setanding dengan nya.

Jawapan aku ...................
Anak Kucing Mengiau Manja, Mengiau Manja Tandanya Lapar
Dengar lah ini Jawapan Saya, Semalam Saya Baru Beli Selipar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lagi Tentang LRT

Teruja dengan blog LEO, aku nak cuba mengarang dalam Bahasa Melayu. Pada aku, Bahasa ni lebih memberangsangkan jika dapat diekspresikan secara spontan; ie. seperti percakapan kita setiap hari. Cerita hari ini berkenaan dengan perjalanan seharian aku balik ke rumah. Cuma semalam terpaksa ambik LRT atas sebab-sebab yang tidak dapat dielakkan.

Sekarang kerja kurang jadi 530pm aku pun menapak ke stesen LRT di sebelah tempat kerja dan berpusu-pusulah orang yang balik pada waktu yang sama. Hari hujan semalam tapi tak berapa lebat, mungkin sebab itu juga LRT pun penuh sesak. Terpaksa lepas kan 3 gerabak baru dapat menyelit masuk. Mak oii.......semerbak nya bau. Segala macam bau - peluh, wangi, ketiak bergelumang dalam tempat yang sempit.

Mengeluh sekejap aku pun cuba lah alih kan muka dari ketiak penumpang ni. Agaknya dia letih kerja buruh seharian kot. Terkemut-kemut sekejap, kembang kuncup hidung aku. Masa-masa cam ni lah, aku berterima kasih sangat pada orang yang menumpangkan aku kereta nya setiap hari.

Setengah perjalanan berlalu, naik lah pompuan sorang ni, kecik je orang nya. Penumpang LRT pun dah tak berapa sesak jadi masing-masing pun nampak lega sikit. Baru aku perasan kalau naik LRT ni tak de handphone atau radio dan perkara-perkara yang sewaktu dengan nya memang melopong je lah menunggu saat tiba. Berbalik pada cerita tadi, dalam pada aku mengelamun di petang hari, aku tersentak dengan perangai pompuan kecik tadi. Selamba-land je dia ngorek hidung!!!!! Amboi-amboi tanpa segan silu...........yang heran nya dia langsung tak cuba nak menutup sikit pun perangai yang tak serupa orang tu. Lagi laju LRT, lagi laju nampak jari manis dia menusuk lebih dalam lagi. Aku dah tak tahan menyeringai, sikit lagi nak terbahak. Aku pusing nengok kot-kot le orang lain perasan...........memang ya pun!!! Tapi semuanya sebok nak cuba tak ketawa.

Aku ingat ok lah, mungkin pompuan ni ada sikit kekurangan agaknya. Sebaik je habis ingatan tu di kepala, dia buat lagi sesuatu yang aku rasa mual sampai rasa nak terkeluar makan tengahari tadi. Dia masukkan jari yang mengorek hidung tadi ke mulutnya dan hisap. Aduh.......tak larat aku nak tengok lagi. Aku turun LRT terus..................

Terkemam aku sekejap kat stesen LRT tu. Baru nak tunggu gerabak lain tiba, kawan ku panggil dan aku turun bila katanya dia ada berdekatan dengan stesen. Lega nya rasa hati. Aku pun balik lah dalam keadaan selesa dalam kerata Satria nya. Sepanjang perjalanan aku tersengih cam kerang busuk teringat kan bab petang tadi. Terasa betapa aku hargai pertolongannya dan syukur kerana aku diberi akal yang masih waras. Ameeeeeeeeeen.

A Message I Came Across...........

DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON? During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, 'How do I know if I married the right person?' I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, 'It depends. Is that your husband?' In all seriousness, she answered 'How do you know?' Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind. Here's the answer:-

EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse/partner. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies (unconventional behaviour/habit).

Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called 'falling' in love... because it's happening TO YOU!

People in love sometimes say, 'I was swept off my feet.' Think about the imagery of that expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU. Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria (excitement) of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship.

Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, 'Did I marry the right person?' And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown.

People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later.

Because (listen carefully to this): THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT IS LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND. SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you.
You can't 'find' LASTING love.
You have to 'make' it day in and day out.

That's why we have the expression 'the labor of love.' Because it takes time, effort and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work. Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable... you can 'make' love. Love in marriage is indeed a 'decision'... Not just a feeling.

Remember this always: 'God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.'

Ponder this Babe...........

Soon you will know as much as you need to know. Will that make you feel any happier? Or will you then decide that you need to know even more? If you can stop hankering after extra information long enough to digest what you have already attained, you will see you are in a fair position to draw several hopeful conclusions. They don't add up to a guarantee of future success but they do make a pretty impressive set of signs and signals. It's time to stop struggling and wondering and gently trust the goal that your heart is already set on.

Years of experience have prepared you for the situation you face now. Your experience may have been gained in a different field, but it has trained you nonetheless. Don't look at what's seemingly new and unknown, focus on the familiar. Do what you would do if you were in the territory you in. Act as if you have a right to be where you are. It is not by mistake that you have reached your current position. It is by great good fortune. Instinctively, you know what to do next, even if intellectually, you feel baffled. So as we journey towards Valentine's Day, just follow your inner radar. You've already made your most important choice. It won't let you down.

Look!

The grammar may be totally OFF but the PIC is damn CUTE, eh?

Dedicated to LEO and TEDDY BEAR...........Muah!

The Past is a Memory, The Future is An Ilusion, The Present is a Gift

What can I say..........the above is the best saying if any humankind could follow upon in their daily life. Things happen, we learn to move on. Relationship hurts, love doesnt necessarily prevail, happiness is within reach, expectations are amounted, etc. etc. etc. Somehow, this too shall pass.

Hang in there, Sweetheart!

The Ones I Love

Apart from family and the friends that surrounds us, we sometimes forget to show our appreciation to those that matters to us. We tend to take our family for granted, knowing they're always there for us and most times than not we just forsake our closest friends believing that if they're indeed ours, they will understand why we are so busy and the phrase 'later' became the lamest excuse used.

Well, in this entry of mine I got a wake-up call from my dearest friend (whom I love too much to explain) saying he's sorry if he had upset me for some reason or another. Good God! I must've been so involved in myself that the above is self-explanatory.

My circle consists of few only that it embarrassed me to admit I may have lapsed being good to them.

We go through life one day at a time, meeting new ones but its the one that you cherish that will remain through thick and thin. Sometimes life takes a different path and we reach a crossroad that will forever change our friendship. Having said that, even if out of sight does not mean out of mind. I am guilty of playing hookey but be assured, you are loved.

P/s I should try harder. Jgn mare Babe!

Thaipusam weekend

It was another long weekend and the traffic around my home was unbelievable being next to Batu Caves. Nonetheless, the throng of people or shall I say worshipers crowded at the narrow streets along the way is impressive.

All in all, was glad for the long hols and time to relax and do practically nothing. Caught Grey's Anatomy (Season 5) and was loving every minute of it.

What Matters

It was drizzling when I knock-off from work yesterday. As I was walking through the station, I saw a couple sharing this small burger and I was struck at how fresh that looked to my tired eyes. They are young and it looks as if nothing much obstruct their happiness than being in each other's company and sharing that meager piece of meat.

How I wish I could go back in time when everything seemed easy and my worry for the day is what to wear, where to eat and who to play a prank on..........

Semi-Permanently Imprinted

I dont know what got into me.....................but this is my new tattoo!

For those who are privileged enough to glimpse at it..........Congratulations!

Yang lain tu sila guna imaginasi anda. Hahahahah!!!!!!

2008.........2009

Remember the saying, "OUT WITH THE OLD..........HERE COMES THE NEW"

It has been a quiet time for me and that time was spent reflecting on a number of things. Nonetheless, I ended last year letting go of a lot of things. Cheering in a couple of major stuff internally and accepting many faults done and lesson learnt. Awal Muharram specifically was bittersweet and will forever etch in memory. To those who was in my life, those gone and those still stuck with me (hehehehe)............thank you.