CHANGE

You are never fully dressed until u wear a smile.
If that's so, I think I've been naked all these while ;)

I remembered someone said something similar to me a long time ago.......There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humour every day. You've got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die. Find opportunity in change and No Regrets.

I'm presuming I could be one of those people walking around who are dead and don't even know it!

I know there is a huge difference between growing older and growing up. Growing older is mandatory, growing up is optional. Life is full of drama as it is. A smile helps only so much. Having said that, I feel a change is in order for me and perhaps long overdue.

DITTO

You can never stay mad at someone who makes u laugh. You can however, be stubborn enough to prolong the other person's agony by refusing to cooperate with him at every possible turn. Why do we do that sometimes? Is it because the pain refuse to go away? Is it because we're too proud of a person? Or simply because the longer it is, the better making up will be?

If we're truly honest with ourselves, nothing is unforgiveable. Unless we're just being difficult with self-proclaimed guilt in the first place. Sometimes it doesnt have to make sense. Does that makes the person egoistic or just plain obstinence?

Looking further, I guess for me I'm just plain tired of games that people play and with a heavy workload, I cannot afford to dwelve too deep for fear of disappointing myself over and over again. The choice is mine, I suppose.

P/s Forgiving, forgiveness or forgotten?

EID-UL MUBARAK

Its the time of the year again to plan for EID, which is just around the corner. This year, I'd be spending 2 days at my relatives place, north of country before I leave for Germany. As it will be a big, huge and may turn out to be a humongous event, proper planning is necessary. Or else my pocket will be thinner than expected by the second day.

I suppose like each year, its all about spending good time with family members. That means food, laughter, food, laughter, food, laughter, food, food, food, etc. I cant wait to meet everyone esp. my aunt and uncles. I must say the feeling's mutual for them too. I'm so glad that I will be the center of attention again.

I've always been the glue of the family. I'm the provider, the joker, the listener, the one that would come up with activities, the do-er, etc. Its imperative for me that everyone has a good time, be jolly and no hard-feelings after all's done.

I'd feel tired I'm sure of it but it would've serve the purpose of being around the people u love.
And that would've made the fast for the whole month, all the more sweet.

P/s Be sure to check out if the 'story' above changes right after i come back from Eid ;)

JANE DOE

New research shows that our sense of smell can lift our sprits, make us feel sexy and even help us lose weight.

As if needing any excuse for another night out of feasting, there I was breaking fast with yet another array of temptations. After stuffing myself with my favourite dish - raw oysters, I was told that its an aphrodisiac.........as if I'm gonna get laid anytime soon :(

I dont get it, why is it that when a woman does what makes her feel good somehow society would tramp on it but if Tom/Dick/Harry were to swallow anything that walks with a skirt, "They're THE Man". Call me a sexist pig and I'd flatter your ears with @#%*&.

All that aside, me and my oysters tucked firmly in my belly had hot flushes with ring bells nonetheless ;)

ALONE/LONELY

Anyone who's human will come across feeling alone & lonely at some point in their life. Unless I'm an alien, I believe everyone who has lived and loved deserves to make a fool of themselves at least 100 times. And if that's the case, then I should be given a bonus as I had gone past that number lots of time.

Never one to give up easily, I realize that's part and parcel of my life. Its not as if I could say...."take it or leave it". Still running strong, I suppose I just have to accept that's just the way i'm wired.

P/s Bruce.........thanks for the advise. I'd probably have to chant the mantra,

'pretty young thing' all the time :)

TO BE OR NOT TO BE

3 weddings & perhaps my funeral soon. Am I being mocked? God knows........I attended them all, putting up a grave smile while trying to tai-chi all the persistently anticipated questions the guests would have for me.......Yeah, poor 'ol me.

Back at home, I tried to make sense of it all. Why do I keep berating myself for still being single? Is that all there is to life specifically mine? Am I that desperate for the male companion that I'm willing to throw caution to the wind.......again? Seems to be that way for some time now. As much as I love routines, I'm not sure anymore.

If being with someone would cause me thousands of dollars for a wedding, entertaining those who would come and still doesnt think the function is good enough taste for them, incurring debt which would probably take me years to pay off ending with mortgaging the hse........again, having nightmares of another round of bills to think off and forgetting about my passion of travelling as and when I please (especially when the little one comes automatically without planning),

let me think what the sentense was about again :) :) :)

Listening to most of them who has gone through it and having trouble in the first year itself scares the bejeesus out of me and yet I'm pining for it nonetheless. If that is what will make me feel complete and happy, swap me a sweetheart and sweep the troubles away.

TO 'MUMBAI'........WITH LOVE

My heart breaks again...............

The upheaval of me & Mumbai is just unstoppable !!!!

One time its this or that, its unnerving and just doesnt seem to end..............

We're meeting? We're not?

We're staying? We're not?

We're drinking? We're not?

We're going to? We're not?

So many surprises that we could put shame to the latest breaking news of CNN!!!

I cant think straight anymore. And the shock is.....I still feel for the guy. Unbelievable.

Sucker for anything with beard who walks :(

Is this what u call opposites attract or Fatal Attraction?

I cant tell the difference anymore, I'm so confused.

The friendship has been great. God willing will continue to do so.

One thing I'm clear of is where my direction between him and me is going - NO WHERE...........

P/s When will I ever learn? Nothing good comes out of rotten fruit.

WHAT IS HAPPINESS?

Ever since the very first relationship I had to admit I jumped into it headfirst with both feet.

Fast-forward to my relationships now, and it's the same way. I place myself in relationships much in the same way I was first exposed to them. I like to concentrate on one individual at a time, putting my best effort into helping it flourish, giving my undivided attention to this one friend and expecting them to reciprocate back to me. I'd prefer one on one bonding time, as opposed to a large social gathering (despite the social butterfly that I am) simply because I am so INTENSE.

I am often brought into their world, share their experiences and truly begin to empathically feel for this person. I forget about who I am for the moment, and submerse myself in their universe.

Having said all that, I sometimes feel that when its my time for happiness, I would still seek my partner's 'endorsement' or 'agreement' (if you can call it that) before I decide on anything. I feel the need to explain of why I had to take time for myself. When something good finally comes my way, I had to think of the other person's feelings before mine. How it would impact him....how he would feel. And why it made me feel bad as if I'm guilty.

Does my sense of compromise shortchanges me?