Full Sunday

I'm literally and utterly full! Woof.....Iftar at Parkroyal wt Lyn and her sis. That was a good outing. Thanks Lyn.......looking forward to the next time we go binging after Eid.

Well, that's to say the least of my full, full, full day. This morning I baked few cakes and tons of muffins and now I dont know what to do with them. Eid is still few days away and definitely these goodies need to be consumed before that. What started out as trying half a batch of recipe turned out so good that I decided to try the whole lot!

Went out to pay fitrah in the afternoon and ended up spending an hour trying to maneuver the throngs of people in my community town and thats just the place I live in. Grrrr........i can imagine how bad the city centre must be like today. Urgh! Thank God we decided not to go anywhere.

Spring cleaning early in the evening and when you're dead hungry and tired of exhaustion by 2pm is not a pretty sight. Anyway, I'm glad that was done and as I'm winding down from a full day just as I had prescribed.

Just looking forward to Leo's arrival and the next 2 days of working before I can totally relax and laze around during Eid.

Laid Back Saturday

Somehow the things that I planned to do today didnt actually happen but the good thing is I got my hair done, I tried my hands on some recipes; (biscuits and cakes) and I spend the whole day quietly by myself.

I'm not sure which one I enjoyed more but at this point I think I have to learn to enjoy my own company rather than fret on things that are not going to materialize.

P/s My sore toe is still hurting.

Lagi....tentang Bulan dan Bintang

I went down to the clinic today to get my dressing done. 'Toe' is throbbing like mad and refuse to calm down. Since I'm fasting there's no chance that I can take the antibiotic or the painkillers that this cute Doctor had prescribed yesterday.

Well there I went reluctantly........dreading the pain involved. I almost peed yesterday when the Doctor gingerly touched 'Toe'. May be he was being careful in case my leg involuntarily made itself forward and kick him!! Hahahahh.........Anyway, cute Doctor was there waiting and was grinning from ear to ear when he saw my pinched face that greeted him. He knew how I would whine and tried to grip my teeth together and perhaps in his sick mind he likes seeing his patients in pain. Maybe this is how he gets his kick.

So there I was on the examination room and he gave me the inevitable news.........he has to make an incision on the sides of to ensure the in-grown will not damage the rest of my toe. OH GOD........the next half hour was the most excruciating pain i've ever had to endure. I was screaming my heads off and crying like a baby. Time2 macam ni dah tak kesah malu dah. Fuiyoooooo kali ni memang satu langit boleh nampak ........tinggi ke rendah. Ya Allah......masa dah habis tu both Doctor and me dua-dua terkelu. Sengih je lah.........kan.

Oh well, hopefully lepas ni jangan lah ada perkara yang tidak diingini berlaku lagi. Sampai sekarang ibu jari masih berdenyut.........

Toe

Have you ever heard of love songs crooning "Have you ever been in love that you reach for the stars and the moon........."

Adoiiiii.........I definitely see stars this morning when I tried to take a shower on one leg and trying not to wet my dressed up toe that was hurting from yesterday. How is it so possible that one small toe could hurt so bad that your entire being is counting on your alertness to careful attention. Every single time I bend or my toe accidentally touched the sides of anything tangible, I yelped. (Ni baru kata nampak bulan dan bintang). It takes a few good minutes for my vision to clear and wiping away tears that keep coming out every time this happen, I would limp and take a long deep breath to calm myself.

As I'm limping away trying to walk, do my prayers and taking extra precaution to ensure where my footing goes for every step, I realized how helpless you can be when you're down and totally incapable of the simplest things like putting one foot in front of the other without wincing.

I wish I can just lean on someone and get some tender loving care,

All is Good again.........

The sun hasnt risen and the cold breeze hits me in the face when I opened the front door to gaze at the stars. Havent done that lately.....and didnt notice how serene life is at night in its stillness.

I've just finished writing a draft on a paper that I'm trying my hands on. A full hour of sketching and playing with words, another hour outlining the points and the inevitable thing happen! I dropped a knife that I was using twirling in my hand. (eerr......the knife was used to cut an apple earlier........i'm not suicidle).......hehehehehe!!

And now I'm just pissed off because I'm in so much pain, the throbbing is giving me a headache all day and I cant seem to bend or walk properly.

Sigh........just the kind of week I'd was hoping not to have. Me and my clumsiness.

Quiet Weekend

Last weekend was one of the rare occasion when I actually was running around like mad trying to do something for myself.

It started off with me going groceries and ensuring I have all the ingredients of making the perfect cookies for Eid. Of all the years, my mom decided to throw out her old recipes out the window just before Ramadhan when she did her kitchen spring cleaning. Since its always up to me to come up with the menu and especially treats for Eid, there I go scrambling to try out new recipes that has not been tried out before. But then again, how hard can chocolate chip, butterscotch and custard cookies be, eh?

Needless to say, I also had to check out few hair-do styles for I have decided to do a new style of my long crop of a hair which is quite beautiful as it is already (masuk bakul angkut sendiri nih). Tapi kalau dah cantik tak kan nak kata buruk kan? heheehhheeh..........

Anyway, needless to say I was like a kid in a candy store when I was doing groceries and the heat of Eid is starting to rub itself on me and I'm sure both the cookies/menu and the new hair-do will do justice where it counts.

The Dark Knight

Friday night saw me scrambling all over Midvalley.

Very, very interesting day that I had. The ending was like a cold splash to the face but nonetheless what happened in between was bizarre, out of this world and shocking even to me. Anyway, after Iftar at this new Indian restaurant at the Gardens (which is nothing to shout about), I went to the theatre and tried to see The Dark Knight.

The good thing about the whole day was that I look extremely good, I smell even better and I felt wonderful about myself. I enjoyed the evening tremendously and tried to make the most of all that happened and lapped up the attention however corny it was.

I wish I could be more eloquent in detailing the whole night out but it was kinda like fairy-tale met Arnold Schwarzenegger with a BadBoy ending. How do you live that one down?

Sigh...........all in all I've learned a valuable lesson on Friday night.

Grey Hair, Anyone?

Patience really is a virtue to be admired......................Too bad I have a thin stretch of it especially when I needed it most this month!

Out of nowhere, me minding my own business.........come this colleague of mine screaming. I thought someone died by the way she was screeching. Apparently she found out ONE grey hair popping from her crown jewel!!!! Bloody ONE, not ten, not half a head like the rest of us. The nerve!

Next thing I know, she was on and on ranting and raving about how life is unfair to bestow such a thing to her. And how she's no longer beautiful because of that ONE miserable grey hair. For god sake's woman..........get real! Other people are worrying when their next paycheck is going to be or when their next meal is coming from.

Ah.........what a day!

Getting Jiggy With It..........

As I'm winding down from the hustle of my day, I realized how lethargic I felt in the last couple of weeks. Could that be the reason why the restless feelings cropped up? Nah....it goes beyond that but I'm sure coupled with everything that has been going on I've been down just thinking too much on the inevitable.

Right after Iftar, I sat down in front of the PC and tried to write but my mind was a blank. When I grew bored, I turned on the stereo and there it was.........Will Smith blaring his hip hop songs and the next thing I know.........I was moving and shaking my bum-bum to the rhythm and one thing led to another.........it was a full 30 minutes later that I stopped dancing.

Phew! It felt great. I missed dancing and the euphoria felt in the few minutes made a small smile break and I know things will be alright. Tomorrow will be a new day with a promise of something exciting only if I believe in it.....and I will.

Simply tired.

Seriously I havent a clue what has gotten into me lately. I mean the Ramadhan has been great, in fact its one of the best I've had in years. I have been able to observe the last 2 weeks in perfect harmony with what I'm supposed to be embrace.

I think when your mind is taken on an overdrive, your whole being gets sucked in. And there's nothing more painful and tiring than when you are feeling a void deep inside you of loneliness and despair. I'm spiraling into one of my moods again and I'm helpless to help myself come out of it......at least for now.

I will be ok soon and I hope I wont be so far off that digging myself out of it will take more effort than necessary. Hopefully with the greatness of this month, help will come my way and I will be OK again. I have to be.........for the sake of sanity.

No Title

Jules sent me this and the timing was just right and sums up the whole of my week.......

_____________________________________________________________

There may be days when u get up in the morning and things aren't the way you had hoped they would be. That's when you have to tell yourself that things will get better. There are times when people disappoint you and let you down. But those are the times when you must remind yourself to trust your own judgments and opinions, to keep your life focused on believing in youself. There will be challenges to face and changes to make in your life, and it is up to you to accept them.

Constantly keep yourself headed in the right direction for you. It may not be easy at times, but in those times of struggle you will find a stronger sense of who you are. So when the days come that are filled with frustration and unexpected responsibilities, remember to believe in yourself and all you want your life to be. Because the challenges and changes will only help you find the goals that you know are meant to come true for you.

Keep Believing in Yourself.

Raya Gifts

Its already the 11th day of Ramadhan and its the time to think of Raya gifts and ensure the list is complete so that no one is left out. Here comes the headache........

This is also the year, the family decides that we should go to all the relatives house from Tanjung Malim right up to Penang. This is going to be one long trip up north.

Anyway, here comes the tricky part. I've basically sorted out the 'must-buy gifts' and another pile of 'emergency-gifts'. But looking at the agenda..........I've gotta be prepared for 'bundle-gifts' as well. Nanti Mak Bedah, Makcik Joyah dan Pakcik Mat merajuk lah pulak................

So where do you draw the line at giving one relative a gift and another one who is not close to you who is at the same house? I dont know the Auntie Jenab (quote from my mom "She's the daughter of your late grandfather's second wife's niece........bla..bla..bla..) and I sure dont even recall Uncle Muhamad (quoted "He's the uncle that came to this house who claims to be my adopted brother's nephew's son.......bla..bla..bla.). That is not to mention the hoodlums of kids all of they have got going for them!!!!

Oh well, I'll probably end up broke this month but look at the bright side..........Everyone will be having a fabulous and a fantastic Eid.

P/s Names used have been changed for confidentiality purposes. Hahahahha!!!!!

Sober up!

Hai.........bulan ramadhan ni bermacam-macam peristiwa terjadi. For starters, I havent been able to get enough shut eye and in the last few days none at all. Oh Well.....let the brain work overtime once or twice kan? Asyik perut je yang work overtime, dia pun fed-up. Hahahaha....

Anyway, after so many hours and no brain rest will make u hallucinate a lot of things. And ultimately I was bound to do something embarrassing....so typical of me! Pinggan pecah, jalan tergelincir, cakap marapu..............my scatter-brain is so sluggish that my mom said I even talk nonsense.

Bila dah mengelamun memanjang ni lah akibatnya. So it was my usual morning, sahur and get ready, few sms, and I'm off to catch the train to work. Shaking off my lethargic state of mind, I settled into the coach and wait for the 45-min trip to the office. Must be my lucky day as I got a seat today.....what a relief!!

Next stop a very, very, very big lady with a protruding stomach got in and stood right smack in my face. Without thinking, I offered her my seat (still not learning from past experiences). She was so insulted and started making faces at me while shaking her head from left to right. I thot, kenapa kakak ni.......mentally challenged ke? And I kept ushering her to my seat.

Last-last dia kata "IT's OK, I'm not PREGNANT!!!!"

Aiseh.........malu gue. Pejam lah mata 45-min ride tu. Heheheheeheheh......................

Big, Bold and Beautiful

I've always believed that confidence is sexy. Confidence is the only thing that separates the 'it' and the 'wanna-be-s'. So what if I dont have both? Neither confident much less sexy? How do I compensate my being? What am I so happy for if I dont have that main core essence?

I suppose the best is I accept the things by which fate binds me............I love the people with whom I come in contact with and I do this sincerely..........at least to the best of my ability and for sure my secret of finding deep fulfillment lies in serving others.

Turning a New Leaf

The last couple of days has its ups and down to say the least.

A small bird whispered that something's in the air.....and that I should be watchful for any surprise coming my way. True enough from Saturday I have been giddy by a welcomed attention lavished upon me. I guess I must be doing something good to be given this opportunity to have some shred of happiness in the universe.

A beginning of something beautiful? I sure hope so and I wish all will be well. Smile............

Romance Anyone?

"Its amazing how u knock me off my feet........Everytime u come around me I get weak. AAAwwwwwwwww......is that romanctic?"

Romantic taik kucing! This mamat........let me call him MAMAT. He is so vain and so full of himself in addition to being a klutz! Knocked me right off my feet, for sure because he tend to come and talk to you so close and when u turn around you would just run over him. He's never heard of this thing called 'personal space' where u dont stand too near of the opposite sex for fear of being called gatal!

And the part where I get weak? Well memang sah lemah satu badan bila tau he's around. EEEEeeeeeeeee Geli Siut! He would leer and look at my boobs if he has all day. I constantly have to remind him, "....my face is up here....." What the @#%*...........

Moral of the story is............knock someone before u get knocked and never ever get weak around a man u have no intention of sleeping with!

When Bored, Watch Korean Series.......

I have fallen deeply, madly, consistently in love with the new Korean channel on my cable. It started off as passing through and flicking through the channels during the time when I came back early after office hours without any plans or anything interesting to watch on the tele.

Surprisingly, I stopped at this new channel because I saw it was on an epic series on how a mom was upset with their children and how she felt empty after her children are all grown up and have started families on their own. And I'm a sucker for such things. Is there all there is to life? So what am I whining about here?

After that, another new drama series was on. It told of a coming-of-age story in this day and age. Anyway, what made me stuck like glue to the tele was the mixture of modernisation of how the story was portrayed mixed with old-age-tradition of respect for the elders, living life the right way and the values of life. It was a combination of all that I wanted to watch I suppose, from the acting to the beautiful scenery and the sacred of family's belonging.

I'm hooked !

Sex and The City

Finally! I saw the movie......I've had the CD for some time but everytime I have the chance to view, I seem to procrastinate. I'm not really sure why I did that until I saw it.

The movie has a happy ending in the most practical way. The storyline is as typical as the TV series. Nothing to shout about. The costumes, now that is another matter. Its too lavish that only movie stars will wear them. No surprise there. Even the sex scenes were 'normal'.

Coming back to me, I have to admit I didnt want to see a happy ending movie because I'm bleeding love as it is. I can wish all I can to have my own happy ending but I know its beyond my reach.........at least for now.

Sigh........I'll just have to be calm and accept how things are for now.