What's in the Past....should stay in the Past.

I'm not sure why but when I think back of my old-flames - good and funny memories comes first and foremost. I think thats quite a good outlook for my life, eh? I've had my share of hurting, badly I must say. However, the first thing that pops into my brain when I think of them are the good times and all the horrible BUT fun things we did together as a couple.

Obviously the reason I'm writing about this is because one of them called the other day and I was civil enough and wanted to know how I was doing. Well I can be honest here..........he wanted to pursue me back again BUT with all kinds regulations because he's been hurt. (Did I mention he was the one who dumped me to marry another?)

With a smile on my face, I was calm when I said thanks but no thanks. But if he need a friend, he has my number.

A day of Cooking

I SUCK at cooking!!!!

Yesterday was my day in the kitchen. Right after work......... I jumped right in. And immediately the headache accompanied as well. Suffice to say, my whole family also thinks the day I'm supposed to cook is their nightmare as well. (Mainly coz I will force them to eat my hideous tasting cooking). Somehow even after years of this torture my mum still insists that I cook. She thinks she'll be able to 'correct' this deform of mine by being persistent.

I love nasi campur so my menu was kerang masak lemak, ikan asam pedas, bayam goreng and telur asin. Rich and yet so satisfying.........Surprisingly it turned out well, I didnt burn the kitchen down, minor accident with the knife AND my rice turned out perfect! Fabulous -:))

Why is it So Difficult to Remain Casual Friends with the Opposite Sex

I have a generous number of friends.

Platonically, I've always been closer to my female counterparts. I have only 1 good buddy who is of the masculine sex and its truly fully platonic with no sexual connotation whatsoever. I must admit, its easier to be close to men than it is with women. I'm not sure why or is it just me .


Male friends are also easier maintained. But I must say, it will always lead down the same way......however good or close of a friend we are........it will somehow lead to some sort of a sexual nature if only one loses grip.

I dont know, given the option I do prefer to be around my male acquaintance but I cannot handle the sexual tension that naturally comes when expectations and feelings are entertwined.

Unease

I have been having an uneasy feelings for the last couple of days but I just cant quite figure out what it was. My sleep has also been sound - without any dreams, which to me is quite bizarre because my mind and soul wanders and I would normally have dreams. So the combination of those two are not normal for me. I do feel something is about to happen; be it good or bad. I'm just not sure.

Could it be because I miss my sister who moved away from home? Could it be that my non-relationship state is beginning to sit well with me? Could it be that I will have 2 upcoming trips around my country that is supposed to be work-cum-fun? Could it be that my work seems to be on a neutral ground with a marvelous boss around?

I just dont know but the unease continues.......................

Poo-Poo

Aku sakit perut today...........................

Semalam terkinja-kinja melantak
Japanese food. Stuffed with all kinds of
delicacies.......semua segala yang fresh
dan yang tak masak mcm sashimi ni......


The only saviour is Teppanyaki & Tempura.

Dont get me wrong.........I LOVE JAPANESE FOOD!!!!! But after so many Oysters, Escargot, etc.
can you blame my stomach for complaining?



Lepas tu..........sempat plak pi teh tarik.

Sampai pulak rumah, Jeng....Jeng...Jeng....the most wonderful durian is right there on the table!!! Oh my god........how can i NOT sample some? That's pure sin.


TODAY......I've been visiting the toilet for the umpteenth times. Urgh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Its Hard to Breathe

If I lose consciousness before I can get a chance to tell you how much I care for you, Please remember me in your prayers.

I felt a deep attraction for someone and any way I look at it, its wrong.
I know I cant do anything about it because its forbidden.
So all I'm gonna do is keep my feelings to myself,
And move on...................

SEXY.....anyone?

What would you consider sexy?

A beautiful face?
A curvaceous, hot body?
Lots of money and material based?

....or Fantastic Personality?

Most of us (I think) have evolve throughout time and no longer hold on to everything that E! Channel & beauty magazine sells nowadays.

Most of us have come above all that superficial stereotyping and would like to think that we are beyond that.

Most of us are just human..............

If there is a person who seem to have it all - beauty, intelligence, proportionate body and good genes in addition to a fabulous personality & educated on top of it, wouldnt that be the 'dream woman' for all?

Somehow that doesnt seem to be enough for some men and I take it literally because the 'excitement' is long gone after all the above has been exhausted. So what chance do mortals like us have without all of the above?

Having said all said, I dont know about you all, but for me CONFIDENCE is SEXY !!!

In addition to self-esteem and loving myself and the most beautiful thing about it is that no one can take that away from me -:))

Kick-back & Relax

I was bored and end up at Plaza Damas recently.
End up at Plaza Damas at
the Pancake Hse and damn....the food there is delish!!! Just fabulous. Nice display as what you can see and a new way to enjoy your pancakes.....I would recommend anyone who's into something savoury to pay a visit. Situated at the laid-back Plaza Damas, its a quiet

place. Thoroughly enjoyed myself. Thought of LEO and all the food that he enjoys there -:))............I pun dpt gak! Well, this is the good life that I'm enjoying right now. No complains........
so far. Hahahaha.

Something to Think About

Yesterday I read an article about self-revelations after deciding on a wrong choice. One of the sentence in the closing struck me as something which each and everyone of us should reflect on. It said...... "I never regret but I take it as lesson learned".

How many of us could really say that and mean it? Wouldnt it be less stressful if everytime we made bad choices we could take a moment, admit our own fault and move on. Breathe and be more conscience of our actions so that we dont go through the same wrong path.

Instead, sometimes when we realized we're in deep shit, we like to over-analyse the matter to death and still come up with excuses to blame everyone and everything around us.

Having said that, I'm still in the process of loving myself enough to know when to stop, take a moment, be concious of my surrounding and the choices I made and be accountable for it.

Trip to Penang - Part III

Isnt's she cute? Sepanjang masa di Penang asyik membuta!! Ni lah intan payung my parents that will finally fly away from home to work up north. All of us have mixed feelings about it but I thought this is a good time as any for her to really grow up. I love you Jules. Jgn mare......

We checked out the house that was rented

for her by the Company and it looked OK. I thing all of uf got more excited about it than she did! Hehehheeh.........berangan pulak nak tinggal situ. My only concern is the kilang papan sebelah rumah tu which is infested with Banglas and Nepalis. I sure hope she's OK later.

The last pic showed her office locations which left a dry taste in our mouths because its so far off from the main road and looks exactly like what it stands for. Construction...........with all the happenings of stale bread. Ummph!!! Good luck lah Jules.

What can I say eh.........my worry for her will never stop wherever she is in the world, I think. Its time to let go...................

Trip to Penang - Part II

The second day, we were still cruising around at Penang Island when I come across this mamak roti and I chased him for more than 2 minutes because I was salivating for the only type of bread that can only be found at these type of vendor. I'm sure I gave the mamak a heart-stopper for looking like a lunatic then. But......u havent tried the bread/butter/kaya, so dont comment!

The following pic is my mom enjoying bawal goreng yang ter-best in the world!!

Air botol ni lah yang dicari-cari, baru berjumpa........mcm jejak kasih -:))

Tengok lah betapa panas terik nya, tetapi oleh sebab si-bawal tu paksa juga diri duduk amongst the
kelapa sawit plantation. Btw, that's my sis

(which I will tell a story in Part III) and my dad at the back, wiping their perspiration.

Mee-rebus is another must of mine

to have........siap ngan sotong lagi tu. Tapi yang mahal tu.........kuku pun siap posing. Hahahaha...........

Having had all that, we retired for the day and was so relieved when no one had constipation with the amount food we gorged!

Trip Back to Penang - Part I

I should have updated this abt 10days ago but been tied up......as usual. BUT, I promise you this time you will feast your eyes with a colourful pics and stories. YAY!!! Cukup2 lah cerita sedih buat tahun ni kan.

I made the trip up north on Labour Day, 1st May to take advantage of the long hols. On the way tu teringat lah pulak citer Leo abt the best pau on the northern part and stopped at T.Malim. Memang giler sedap!!! Pau kacang dia to die for. I can attest to that and confirm. One-third into the journey, we reached Teluk Intan and on the spur-of-the-moment, I asked Dad to swing and stop by. I paid my respect's to Noormi. Doubt it helps but its for me.

The trip was worth-it and full of mishaps and revelations but it was good for the whole family. We checked into Gurney Resort and this is how the view looks like from the window. Awesome, eh? BTW, if I had the money, I would buy the house just next to it and spend time by the beach all day!

Having said all that we made ourselves buzy and going around town and spending time with the family has never been more wonderful. With all the fabulous food around, I'm surprised by how much we enjoyed ourselves. But then again, Penang has always been the greastest get-away place for me.

Warkah Buat Noormi

The song kept repeating itself in my head...............

Melancholy swept over me in a rush and the old repressed feelings of loss pushed upwards and tear pooled in my eyes and dropped slowly down my barren face......I havent thought of you for so long. I havent cried for so long.

Each time I pressed the replay button, memories of us came back like it was just yesterday. We were laughing, we were eating, we were out at work, we were hanging out, we were at the hospital....................I was standing there alone at your grave.

It used to anger me ................. Now, I just wish I could recall back your face and have at least one more minute to talk to you and be in your presence. I want to tell you about Lyn, EL, Leo, Bad, Ezam, Zizie, Anita. I want to hear you say everything will work out OK.

Sometimes the pain is so real, I just dont know what to grasp to ease it.

Sometimes I just want to be told that I will find someone who could fill your gap.

I am surrounded by so many others but at times I feel so alone that sometimes I feel as if I can feel you looking over me and rasa hati so tipis. I just miss you so much. I keep looking over my shoulder and wishing I can get a glimpse of you somewhere, anywhere. I'm totally lost without you. Rasa perit sesangat. ............No one could fill your shoes, until today.

I drop down on my knees, sobbing uncontrollaby, asking, praying for just one more glance in your presence...........I just want you back even for one minute.

Ya Allah........I just cant stop playing the song. God help me.

I do love you so, Noormi.

Do U Play?

I came across this book by Robin Sharma and was so taken by one of his chapter and I'd like to share it with you guys and invite you to ponder your life.

When you ask a child what he'll do today"? The reply comes in one big word : "PLAY". Perfect Answer!!

I reflected on the importance of play. How often do you ask an adult "What do you plan on doing today?" and get the response "PLAY"..........may be that's why our world is broken.

What would your life look like if there was more play? What would your experience of work be like if you had more fun doing your job, no matter what job you do? What would your relationships look like with more spontaneity, laughter, festivity and youthful - no, wild - abdandon? As adults, we stop playing once we assume the responsibilities of life. Adults are nothing more than deteriorated children.

Why? It doesnt have to be that way. Make the time to play. Find the time to be a little reckless and silly. Be imaginative at work and bring curiosity back to your days. Get back to that sense of wonder you knew when life was all about make-believe, riding yor bike and enjoying every second of this journey called living.

And the next time someone looks at you, with your power suits and serious face - and asks what you plan on doing today, I invite you to confidently give the only reply that matters : "I'm going out to play".

Weekends!

Really.........the picture has got nothing to do with what I'm about to write BUT.......look at the massive size of it!!

Lazy weekends should be spent indoor. At least thats what I would like to do. The best is to wake up late, have brunch, catch up on some reading AND DO NOTHING for the rest of the day.

Ah.......heaven nya.....Of course thats not what happen on every single weekend I had. Hahahahha! In short :-

Friday night : Had to take Julie out for dinner and shopping.
Friday night : Got a call and met up with Marc for a drink and end up partying till my feet hurt
Friday night : Went across town just because they wanted the exact roti canai & teh tarik in that particular place;
Friday night : ..........Am I still talking abt friday night that never seem to end...............

Saturday : Early morning was rudely awaken by this meowing of a cat that appears out of nowhere.
Saturday : Went marketing at an ungodly hour on 7am and was dragged all over and end up smelling like

the cat I fed this morning ..............urgh!!!!

Saturday : Had to do spring cleaning and another cat showed up........am I the cat lady now?

Saturday : Went all the way to Subang to do groceries shopping because mummy wants to get the stuff

from this particular cat shop........(i know i'm babbling now)

Saturday : On the way back from Subang, a CAT stopped in the middle of the road. Forced us to stop.
Saturday : My old friend KAT called........asking to go out in the middle of the night

(Husband problem - geeee go figure)

Sunday : Now you would think it would be my day...........WRONG!!
(I'm too tired to tell the density and complexity that came with Sunday).

Happy reading

http://www.CatchHimKeepHim.com/FromCasualToCommitted

Now if I can do exactly as per the piece above says,

I'd be in seventh heaven! -:))

Raining Gifts

I am truly blessed.......on top of the lunches, dinners and shows that I had been invited to this week I seem to be receiving gifts left and right. This one was given to me on a spur of the moment by my boss. Nice eh? Its from Mikimoto and has a small but elegant pearl at the top. Nice.

Little to my surprise, before end of the day I got another package with a Cerruti 1881 pen, a cute little bear and a lollipop! Cute one, Harry! Wish I had taken the pic. before I tore open the package.

Updates.....

I havent been updating my blogs lately. Let me see.......

March - Vacation at Krabi (the best this year)
- Reported for duty (expatriate boss)
- More birthdays celebrations
April - Celine Dion concert (superb sounds)
- More farewell parties
- Lots of gifts for my 'week'

Lots more things and outings that happened but wasnt captured soon enough that I forget of what I did these 2 months. One things for sure, I had fun with those closest to me and ones that matter.

Nothing so significant that I want to write about actually.

One of the things I know is that I miss Leo as I talk more and more to him lately. I do wish he'd be here most of the time to cheer and lift up my spirits when things got to be too much. I guess that makes a lot of wishes for Leo to be back in the country. Hehehehehe..........

Facts of Life

Relationship is surely the mirror in which you discover yourself.

Understanding others' challenges, struggles and abilities can help us appreciate and understand our own. Often we project our issues onto the mirror of our partner.

No system, however can reach into a couple's private inner sanctuary; only they can know and appreciate the internal dynamics of their relationship; only they can experience the difficulties and the lessons. The innermost thoughts, feelings and struggles of others are theirs alone to see and theirs to work out in their own way.

As we come to appreciate the dynamics of our relationship we turn it into a powerful means of insight, awareness and personal growth. Relationships serve mutual needs. In the positive the bring joy; in the negative they bring lessons that cant be ignored for long.

In the end, I think compassion & deeper emphatic bond will result in increased good-will, mutual support, loving demands, good humour and improved communication; just to name a few of what relationship tends to be.

All human life has its seasons and cycles, and no one's personal chaos can be permanent. It seems essential, in relationships that we concentrate only on what is most significant and important.

Delicious Fun

Last weekend was another one of those run-by-the-mill activities.....family, friends, dancing -:))

But one that I will write about is my outing to Fatty Crab. I've always loved seafood. The only problem is I'm allergic to it. So all the times I had been out over the years konon nya pi makan seafood is equivalent to me picking at tidbits of scraps of those delicious sinful thing the rest called seafood galore. Most time than not, its rice and vege for me for fear of me turning into Nutty Professor with a giant face at the end of a seafood meal.

Anyway, I dont know what made me brave it out when a close friend suggested at the spur of the moment to hit the stall and for once try out my cravings for Crab. I thought........"What the heck....I might as well do it" "Whats the worst that can happen" "Most to most....the patrons there will just run when they see me start to bloat"

We ordered simple enough....fried rice, chicken wings, small plate of Crab and toast bread. Ya Allah hu Ya Kareem..........10min into it I cant stop!!!! Those things are simply superb. Why didnt anyone told me before? I lost out on years and years of this awesome taste? With a hammer in one hand and messy as hell, I was happily chugging down them.

Ahhhh.........thanks Babe for the wonderful outing and what will now be one of my regular stops I'm sure ;)

Happy Birthday Kaklong

Birthdays to me is a BIG deal.

Late yesterday evening after I've settled down from my chaotic and messy day, I gave a call to Kaklong, asking how her birth-day has been and what she's up to for the night. Much to my dismay, she said she's on the way home! I thought......where's the party? where's the get together with close friends? where's the special something someone who's suppose to keep her company and have a merry-good time?

The next thing I know, I'm in the train heading straight to KLCC and we end up having a quiet but satisfied dinner at Spring Garden. I'm not just talking about the great food and the excellent conversation we had. It was one of those times when we had a deep discussion and open communication that actually meant a lot to both of us.

I've always loved kaklong dearly. Its not the same with my love for parents or Jules. I love Jules to pieces and cant imagine anythg harmful happening to her and has been sickeningly protective towards her. But KAKLONG.......She's my rock and the most sensitive person I've known. She's someone whom you can count on at every corner in every situation and just a wonderful damn good person.

We hardly talk much over the years growing up and from a young age I've been emotionally on my own. But seeing her yesterday, looking so radiant on her day and feeling so optimistic about life in general (I have to write this abt her because she's been through a lot) I am so so so very happy for her and I wish with all might that if anything good should be bestowed upon anyone, I would wish for her to receive it.

I LOVE U KAKLONG.

Feminism

I have never seen myself as a romantic person.

The notion of being romantic does appeal to me but somehow I feel that my actions are far from it. So it came as a complete surprise when an acquaintance of mine told me that i'm exactly that. Naturally I feel every woman has this sense in them whether they exhibit it or not. Its through those simple things that we find so important but baffles the opposite sex.

I'm not talking about declaring "I Love you, I care for you, I miss you...." 10times a day! Now that seems like the next fatal-obsessive-compulsive-behaviour.

But guess what........ I'm confident enough in myself and I wouldnt care what others think of me coz either way I know if and when I utter those words, I really felt it and it wont come out looking like a superficial-bimbo who's trying too hard.

Expectations...

The thing about friends, good ones and close ones. Expectations. In any form of relationship, 'Expectation Kills'.

Not to have expectations is easier said than done. Its a hard thing to do, at least it is for me. However much you think you wouldnt want to burden your friends or lovers, in a way, we will still end up doing it - unintentionally of course!! Because the moment you are in a relationship there is no 1 but 2 separate entities trying to blend as 1. You can never be yourself totally in any way. Some form of change will have to take place whether we want it or not.

So do we form beliefs based on our experiences, or do we create experiences based on our beliefs?

I think, while experiences and expectations do influence each other - what we assume, expect or believe, colours and creates our experience.

Taye Diggs said, "The difference between friendship and love is how much you can hurt each other".

Do we love so unconditionally that we lose ourselves in our partner because we're so blinded by the feelings that overwhelmed us? Do we compensate that loss by expecting the other to mold their character and meet us halfway? or Do we wake up one day and suddenly realized its a place we dont want to be anymore because of the restrictions we put upon ourselves in the first place?

I read that the key to applying the Law of Expectations is to crate new expectations, based not on blind faith but on clear intention. It also says that what we expect tends to appear in our life because we set it in motion.

I wont kid myself.......... I do expect. However, I think All said and done, having realistic expectations is what we normally would do in hope of a better and grounding relationship.

I salute those who can do without.

Current Blissful Life.........

Heya Guys! Sorry for not updating the blogs more often. I have been travelling and getting some action lately........so cut this girl some slack, eh? Lol!!

Let me see, things have been great for me for some time now probably of the calm and peace I felt and create around myself. Well there has been some hiccups but can easily be mended.

Job front I'm still in a limbo due to the re-structuring but instead of worrying and fretting over it like I used to, I feel that as far as my work is concerned, things will come around sooner or later for me. So, I'm being quite cool about the whole thing - much to the dismay of other pesky busybodies. Maybe I'll let them do the nosying around for me and I'll just come prepared.........that would definitely throw them off!!! hahahaha

Personally I am doing OK amidst the bouts of loneliness that sometimes creep up without me noticing it. Again, I find myself taking it all in a stride. Should I be worried that I have no one to curl up to? No one to take care of? No one to shower my attention to? Surprisingly, the less obsessive I become on the matter of the heart, the better I am at handling it. Hmmmm........what an interesting revelation.

Family wise, everyone's doing OK. Still tugging at me to help out with everything as usual. Not that I mind, I suppose everyone else is going through the same motion when it comes to family members. They would always come first despite the bickering, yelling and loving going on.

Friends? Now there's where the turbulance come about. I may have to write a separate blog about it. Much has happened. So many things unanswered and uncertainty clouds certain individual's vision. I wish I could help. I dont like feeling helpless.

Read on for my next chapter on the above....................

31st DECEMBER 2007

The perfect birthday for a perfect closure........Ah.....I won't complain ever again!!

Early morning I was bombarded with tons of well wishes for my birthday and it continued the whole day till midnite for New Year wishes as well. So for once I can proudly say my mobile was hotline ringing and beeping non-stop. In a nutshell this was what happened throughout the day :-

9 am Breakfast served in bed by family with birthday gift

(without having to rinse my mouth)

10am Driven to Bangsar for brunch with very close friends for facial and massage
(free voucher)

1230pm Drop by the office to pick up flowers, teddy bear and chocolate given by office-mates

1 pm Lunch (paid by them) with DESSERT!!!

2 pm Moved to PD with close friends

3 pm Checked-in, ooooohh-ed & aahhh-ed at the room
(big room with the pool just 5-footsteps outside the door)

4 pm Cake-cutting, photo shoot and binging on snacks (served by them)

6 pm Moved to the beach

8 pm Got ready for dinner (paid by them again)

930pm Moved to Guoman for after dinner party

11 pm Got ready for New Year countdown

12 pm Cant remember after this time onwards (Due to Unforseen Circumstances)

The next morning with a hang-over went for breakfast and a little detour around the hotel. How awesome is it at 35 to be treated with acute plans by best friends that I've had over 12 years ago and still rocking together with good humour and big laughter thrown in?

Believe it Or Not..........I'm the luckiest girl on earth -:))

Wine Tasting

I have always been a fan of wine; particularlay Port.

Last night I had a chance to saviour my favourite pastime......sipping wine in a relaxing ambience. The liquid has got to always be Red, full bodied and at room temperature for me. Its just something sinful about it and the taste just goes down the throat the right way. However, last night the host wanted to try white. So we had the 2003 Margaret River Chardonnay.

I never get drunk but something about this white liquid that gives such a rush and a kick....Phew!! It was chilled, semi sweet and superbly rich. Not that I know much about wine in the first place but I never knew white could have such a thrilling after taste!

As much as colour brings out the fun in a person and taste in food, never underestimate

(and I'm not just talking about wine).

I must say, I have been guilty of that a lot lately and I've got re-evaluate the person I've become.

Kool & The Gang

Ah.......another perfect day. Other the usual routine that I live for I managed to finish up work on time and barrel out of the office in time for another day at the concert hall.

Man.........Kool and The Gang rocks!!!

Hazami was the opening act (surprisingly good vocal). Followed by 60min of serenades from James Ingram (he was awesome) and another 60min of good 'ol hard pumping 70s groove. I danced till my feet hurt and shouted till I can barely talk this morning. Heheheheh.......that was how good a time I had.

However, nothing beats the concert of the year - Black Eyed Peas.

P/s Wonder how 'My Chemical Romance' concert will turn out on the 9th of Dec. -:))

Fantastically Fabulous

Dear Diary

Today is one of those days that I had an almost perfect day. The day started with just the right note of perkiness and picture perfect. Breakfast was just fabulous. Work a natural flow. Friends all seem happy. Family's all well. Lunch was fantastic. Nothing went wrong and nothing major or out of the ordinary that made the heart ache happened.

I raise my hands to heavens and thank my lucky star.

P/s Dinner and hopefully the rest of the night.......... just superb -:))

Too Much Paradise...........

Who was it that said "Laughter is the best medicine"?
.......and its true.....A happy disposition increases our level of endorphis and lowers the production of stress hormones.

People with a happy nature are sunny and pleasant to be with.

Without it, life is dry. It is an infectious feeling that instantly lifts sagging spirits.
Happy people keep themselves happy because they know the little ways to appreciate themselves and to see the humour and magic in each moment.

A smile is an inexpensive way to improve our looks.

P/s I think thats what the split each corner of my mouth is created for ;)

Shout It!! Say It !! Love.....

Have you ever had the feel of gratification when you wake up in the morning and instantly know that you will have a wonderful day ahead of you?

I'm having a marvelous day :))

LIFE IS A BEAUTIFUL GIFT

A chat friend gave me an article to comment on - how Life will turn out differently/positively if each and everyone of us begins life having the knowlegde of what the end will turn out to be.

Well, Captain Jack............. this is what I came up with. For the rest of you, happy reading -:))

_____________________________________________________________________

If you are lucky in life, you will know from the get set what you want and what you don’t want in life. Having said that, not everyone is blessed with this gift.

I think knowing beforehand what life will throw at you is boring. Same goes with having dreams of what the ideal life is all about. One’s interpretation of succeeding in life differs from each individual. Collectively we all think ideally once you are comfortable in life you are on your way to success. In this era of science and technology, we can be creative and productive and at the same time not lose the humanness that we are all born with. Just material things or comfort alone do not make you comfortable.

Being motivated, having commitment and responsible throughout your life are all values which we should have with a conscious mind through proper awareness. (These cannot be taught or brought about through training). These positive traits will definitely hold competitive advantage to succeed. This no doubt will make our aim in life clearer.

The saying that life that equals a moving wheel holds a meaning. At one point you’re on top of the world but never forget that wheels turn. The ups and downs of life is inevitable just like change.

Some resist change for the mere fact that change demands effort and self- discipline especially when we are uncertain about the outcome or fear loss from change. We would much rather deal with the devil than know the uncertainty of transition. However, careful planning facilitates change. Combine that with Knowledge, Change can be a powerful tool.

Everyone needs to get a broad understanding about oneself and one’s priorities. Clarity in the mind makes things much easier.

Yes, Life is definitely easier if we have the end picture in mind, But as a realist I think that’s wishful thinking. Life without taking risks is dull; be it calculated or otherwise.

Life itself is a series of experiences. When u become tolerant in all adverse situations, you will continue to experience pleasures.

With that, life may be seen as a wonderful journey that is worth your while.

P/s Never regret and never go through life asking “What if”…………

Magical Ramadhan Al-Mubarak

It has been slightly over 2 months since I last wrote. It wasn’t so much as being busy but time seems to stand still somehow. However, I’m back and I feel calm and collected.

Ramadhan starts off tremendously for me. It has been 5 days and I’m getting stronger and healthier in a long time. Fasting has been a breeze so far and I hope will continue to be the same until the end of the 30 days.

Things at the office have not picked up its momentum when it comes to this particular month and I’m gearing all out for the weekdays to be filled with invitations for Iftar throughout the coming weekdays.

I have been talking more and more with Leo and that never fails to cheer me up constantly! Another funny and weird thing always happen too…..lots of new acquaintances, old ones popped back and not to mention the bonding of current ones became stronger than any other month of the year.

I do wonder whether the sacred holy month has a surprise for me in store -:))

Its a Lonely World......being FAT

As far back as I can remember, I’ve always been chubby….growing proportionately to fat and tipped the scale over 100kg by adulthood. I consciously did this to myself over a period of time. Guilty as charged and if I’m really honest with myself I know why I did it……(it goes back as young as when I’m 4-5 years old)

Coming back to reality, life hasn’t been rosy.

For earlier part of my life, I watched it unfolds in misery and I keep beating myself over it. I keep blaming everyone and everything around me, the unfairness and unjust and simply being a sore. My confidence and self-esteem is close to non-existent and by the time I start work, it suffered even more without any qualification.

Living in denial, I bulldozed through; keeping busy, being indispensable to all those around me. Feeling needed by others gives me a certain high. It accomplished a niche’ and satisfy the grueling contentment of being wanted. I seek acceptance through the worst possible way.

Over the years, I’ve managed to gain confidence, miraculously if I may add; despite being a loner and always shutting others who got too close for comfort.

A late bloomer for obvious reasons, I go through series of rejections and in the process of finding myself amidst the confusion, I made some unwise decisions. Again, I fall back on the same old circle of feeling worthless. I wonder why when I’m having the time of my life, the axe will surely come down and uncertainty clouds the moment. Not that I’ve had a sure footing in it but somehow its always like thunderstorm……that’s how I can describe my relationships.

Recently, I find myself at a crossroad in my life. Personally and physically, I’m a mess of a human being. I took a good look of my soul. I was caught in a moment………I feel I’m waiting on the edge but I’m not quite sure of what. I know I’m spiraling out of control, pass the state of mind. I let myself slip for far too long.

Perversely, I didn’t hate myself. However, if I don’t love myself, who in their right mind would?

Fast forward to present time, a change in mindset sets me off to a whole new direction. No more shadows, no more self-doubt, no more blames, no more guilty trips, no more feeling sorry for my pathetic self.

Step by step, I’m losing it bit by bit, slowly but surely. Its an upscale battle and an on-going process. I understand now losing weight is not just about waiting for the numbers to drop and feeling scared of not being wanted or accepted. It’s a change of lifestyle. Its about losing inhibitions. Its all about gaining confidence and loving & having faith in yourself.

Life isnt a bed of roses as yet but fat or thin, I matter.

Short-Lived

July greeted me with sombre news......

As I was beginning to celebrate life to its full potential, someone's papa was struck a blow with stroke. I feel for that person much more than I should and can feel the pain and thought of losing a loved one. I know only too well losing someone I love.

There's just something magical about fathers that I cant quite explain especially if you're close to one parent. For me its a feeling of security, someone to look up to, a rock that held me grounded.

I want to reach out to that person but fear rejection.

All said and done, being supportive when you dont know where you stand in the first place is an unfamiliar territory. Letting go is not about giving up but rather about opening up opportunities for the self. The cliche is - If you love someone, let him go. If he comes back, he is yours forever. If not, he was never yours to begin with.

In our quest to find the true meaning, we sometimes forget the answers lies within ourselves.

Chicken Pie

Sweetheart, you rock my world -:))

P/s Public displays of affection - perfect.

May be.....

Life is a mystery. Some say its a game, to some its a battlefield and to others a journey. Whatever one may call it, there is a way to enjoy it.

If anyone were to ask me, my secret of finding deep fulfillment lies in serving others. I believe giving is receiving. I think there is appreciation in learning to give joy and love. A smile, a caring word, showing attention, love and concern can go a long way. So, I'll just keep on giving and MAY BE.....if given a chance something positive may come my way.

It takes so little to show that I care yet it can mean so much.

Romantic 'Fool'

Wake up! Smell the roses, the air seem fresher and the sun seems to be shining brighter.........Ah.....the feel good things that only a romantic fool like me would be able to see and grasp its meaning -:))

Most people seek and whine for romance their entire life but somehow when its presented to them; the pessimist wouldn't know how to react and would perhaps just laugh things off as they're not exactly sure how to handle it. It excites, it feels warm and just down right unreal that it feels silly when romance finally hits home.

I look forward to it and pray to God that I wont mess up when it hits me between the eyes !!

Grinning all day Long

How is it possible to be totally carefree and happy? Hmmmm........that's exactly what I'm feeling today. From the moment I woke up things have been going well. Lunch time was just superb........'san francisco coffee' never tasted as good as today -:)), etc. etc. etc.

Lucky me, I'm just gonna count my blessing and ride the feeling all day.....[...grin....]

Feel Good

I am not a morning person by nature. That doesnt necessarily make me an ogre either. I'd like to think that I'm semi-human until I get my usual dose of caffeine. But when I self-reflect, I noticed that I always manage to laugh even before I'm out the door everyday either by my own antics or those around me.

As if to seal my own beliefs, I was complimented at breakfast how good I look today. I ended up having a good long breakfast with my colleagues; few good belly laughs thrown in till I peed in my pants!! LOL............

Reflecting on the things I care about most gives me a glimpse of my innate goodness. When my inner landscape is full of beautiful thoughts, everything I do is a pleasure.

Me, Myself and I

As our thoughts...........so is our attitude.

One rule that seems universally applicable is that there will always be some events over which we do not have a personal hold; but our attitude towards them is our own creating and, therefore, the right attitude lies in our own hands.

I feel its not so much the event itself, but the fact that I have no control over what has happened. I was told that i should take it as a fact of life. My attitude should be of acceptance of the fact that it has happened and I should try to find the remedy instead of feeling upset or shaken and losing the courage to face the challenge.

I think its far easier and more positive to avail myself of a chance to change

Than try to change my chances.

Let me sum it up nicely........When we're loved and cared for as an individual, we feel good. When that is taken away, there's pain and hurt. We need evidence of caring not so much for what we do but for who we are. We need to know that others care for us and value us; that we are appreciated for what we are.

I think learning about one-self is absolutely crucial. To unravel the mystery of the self and to be able to see all different facets of one's personality is a journey worth travelling.

Just for Tonite

Tonite

I'll hold you, lay you, kiss you

Taste you all the way down

Tonite

You dont have to be lonely

You need to only call me

I will be there

When your body gets weak

And you need some affection

I will lay you down

When your body is in need

And you need some attention

I will lay you down

Tonite

When I'm with you

I will lay down beside you

Then stay all night long

Tonite

I just want to please you

Tonite

There'll be no intermission

I have only one mission

.....and.....

that's turning you on

__________________________________________________________________

Last night

You were so into it

You told me secrets that you never told a soul

I was so nervous and yet oh so comfortable

As we explore the image of love

I drank your wine as you drank mine

I kissed your lips and I felt your mindless slip into my soul

I almost cried coz it was so beautiful

Last night, you were inside of me

Last night, while making love to you

I saw the sun, the moon, the mountains and the river

I saw heaven when you make sweet love to me

Forgive & Forget

Many say that they can forgive but they cannot forget. Sometimes, I assume what they are really saying is that they cannot forgive. Forgiveness should be like a note that we tear to pieces, toss into a rubbish bin and completely forget about. Not something even I could do at a drop of a hat but it does clear the conscience faster.

Situations should be considered like guests; they come and go.

Living in the past wipes out our chances of enjoying the present and gives no hope for the future.

Looking back I thot hard of myself.......Are there still feelings of disgust or hatred for one who has caused me pain? Do I benefit from such negative feelings ? Forgiving and forgetting are in my best interest. It removes the pain and burden in my heart and, thereby; frees others of their difficulties too.

HEARTBEAT

Today is the day I know I'm totally over pretending.
Its time to say goodbye for good.
I've known its over for some time but some shreds of my sanity is still hanging and hoping.

Like water dropping on to a hard piece of stone, sooner or later even the stone will be carved out. Little did I know, the stone is made out of 6 layers of concrete cement with no way of chipping it.

I've been living in denial..................I'm shaping up and shipping out :((

Weekly Updates....

Watched MU/Chelsea last nite - what a lukewarm match! Draw........that was that. Scratched, farted, ate, watched more TV, etc......

Couple of compliments from strangers, couple of mishaps at work and couple of late nights doing laundry......thats basically it for this week. I do hope the weekend will shed more highlights :))

Missing you.....

We utter the word many times in different forms, for different people that touched our lives, for specific reasons when we feel vulnerable for that particular person we long for.....but honestly do we really know how it feels at that moment when we say it?

For me, I must say the only time I feel I'm missing someone is when I know he's there but I cant see, touch, smell, talk and feel him. So near yet so far......Am I alone here?

LEO, thank you......

Thanks for the very entertaining call. I can always count on you. Was such a relief. Gone were my worries, my sleepiness, my concerns..... everytime I hear from you. The joy and warmth that emanated from you sweeps it away; even if its for a short while. Its the exact energy that I need at this late hour.

Smiles back on -:))

FLOW LIKE THE RIVER

In my search for a life partner and the ultimate happiness (if ever there is one), I stumble upon many incidents; good ones that I cherish and bad ones that I'd sooner forget. Along the way, met with many people that adds colour to what I term as 'my life experiences'.

I've been lied to, taken advantage of, shortchanged, etc.................Still when a less than favourable offer came up - I wanted to grab it...Be damn with consequences. I am gonna make it! I wasnt going to pass it up.

Life doesnt just happen and neither will it always work as we plan or want it BUT this time I will go with the flow. If its not meant to be, a time for me will come sooner or later.

ASST. PM

Leo.......

Finally!! Looks like Nairobi's good for you. Love hearing your jovial and funny self again. (Somehow, I have 'Izin ku Pergi' playing softly in the background). I think that song will forever be synonym with you now -:))

Happy for you..........

LIFE'S A CONSTANT DRAMA

Its been some time since I last wrote.

Sorry guys......just been tied up. Family, friends, work, outings....all mingling into one chaotic agenda on my plate now. Not that I'm complaining - far from it. I like the feel of being needed in 100 places at the same time. Its a nice kind of tiredness especially if I felt that because of my touch and input, everyone around me felt the impact and benefit from it.

Too make a long story short, the title is self-explanatory I think :-))

Wish you a good April !

A Good Weekend

Oh my god.........what an interesting weekend I had -:))

In short, was out on Friday, Saturday & Sunday. (Almost got pickup by both the younger and older generation too) Needed rest on Monday with migraine, punctured feet and backache!!!!

Will elaborate when I have more time. Keep reading.......... (......grinning.......)

PATIENCE PAYS

Patience is not so much about waiting as it is about how one behaves while waiting. I should take my own 'medicine' after reciting the above -:))

There I was at Malaysia's biggest travel fair and exhibition. This fair normally offers unbelievable deals that you just have to check them out even if you cant afford to travel yet. There were probably thousands of them at the World Travel Center that day. 30minutes after being pushed and bumped for the 30th time.......I finally got the map of all the exhibition booths and was able to make sense of where local and international exhibitions are located. Phew!!!

3 hours later and almost getting mad, I located a particular section of the best bargain section. There were probably 5 people waiting in line. 4 of them are young couples, talking and laughing while reading the tons of brochures that were probably picked up along the way but one particular person is a character by itself. Its an older version of Queen Latifah (dressed and talked like an over-the-hill wrestler woman) and she was pushing herself to the front of our line and not the slightest bit embarrased that she was making a scene. Parking herself exactly in between me and one couple she again pushed her luck and tried to bump us to the side; all these while asking questions loud enough for the attendant to be aware of her annoying questions about a trip. I can almost sense whats coming next........ she would bump me and the other couple to reach her final destination.

You have to understand, its been almost 4 hours that I'm there. My feet's aching, my heels are almost surely bursting, I'm thirsty and hungry and pretty sure my patience is sorely tested by now.

Still........I gave the benefit of the doubt and stepped aside. [thinking that maybe this older lady deserves to go first, maybe she's double parked and needed her medication soon or maybe, just maybe this is her last dying wish......to travel -:)) ]

Patience is a true virtue especially when you're tested to the limit. I decided to remain in control, kept my cool and be calm. In the process I learned to let go; not just with regards to the situation but more so to just let her be. I maintained my compassion and care.

I felt good about myself........

INNOCENT

Bumped into a long-lost friend at lunch time and was asked this question - "What other mischief have u been up to lately?"

If I count the wild party I had last Friday, the endless flirting and pumped up exercise from all the dancing.......not to mention the Futsal......Hehehehe...........I was a good girl, right? But just for the fun of it, I answered......."Why drink and drive, When u can smoke and fly?" That got a big huge grin on his face!!! Not a person to be outwitted, he went on......"Why fart and waste, When u can burp and taste".

That was fun........and I realized the friends who dont know me well will never be sure of what I'm capable of. But its good to know that I'm still the spitfire girl they remembered and could always count on. All in all, I think I'm not bad, not bad at all even at 34 -:))

Time Out.....Have a Break

Last night, I was high. (High on Juice) Had 4 tall glasses of mango juice and was pumped up - what a joke, eh? Went out with couple of colleagues. Yak, yak, yak for few hours, got into a rut of just reminiscing what had happened for the day. Chill out time is necessary for everyone. If our lives had gone monotonous and however much I repeat it all the time on how I like routines, I think I'm up for a change. Live for today.......Yahoo!!!!!

FUTSAL ANYONE??

Its almost end of Tuesday but I have to tell you about my weekend. Years and years of watching the EPL, Bundesliga, SerieA, etc. of professional football and I finally played FUTSAL. Damn!!! Wrong move........Even after three days I can still feel the ache when I'm walking, eating, sitting, lying (or attempt to) even shitting!! Phew........

The day started well enough. Bright sunny skies (not that it matters coz its an indoor court), everyone in a cheery mood, full of enthusiasm, laughter and good 'ol teasing going around. Looks like we're on the way to a good game. The court was originally booked for 2 hours but since none of us wanted to push our beginner's luck we cut it back to 60min. only. Boy oh Boy......even that timing was shot!! We played for 10minutes and rested for 10minutes and this went on for the next hour. After couple of hard hit free fall (with grace, mind u!) we were ready to throw in the towel after the second break!! What a bunch of losers we were................ -:))

In good faith, we played fair (all 30min of it). Screamed our hearts out, laughed full belly, teased and cajoled each other on the court and it was the best time ever that I've had with my friends.

P/s LEO, u should've been here.

YOGA

I love to meditate. Nothing clears away a stressful day than a good meditation. The graceful flow and deep breathing would cure almost anything. The techniques, the posture, the act of stopping all flow of thoughts to clamour your living brains seems pretty harmless. Furthermore, the soothing music that accompanies these sessions is good for the soul.

Out the blue, a friend invited me to go to the gym. Instead of sweating myself on the common treadmills that are full with over-popping testesterone, I joined a yoga class. Little did I know by the end of the class, it would make all my joints become jelly! [BTW, if you're on the heavy side and have skeletons bigger than your closet, be mindful of getting over excited of yoga]

• Obvious start is the breathing..........in and out......in and out, inhale/exhale.....inhale/exhale. (I thought to myself....this is not bad). Trying to understand what the foreign instructor was trying to explain with tons of 'yoga jargon' has started me crunching my face (not a good practice of yoga, I was told).

• 15minutes into the session we got to the 'bending' position. So there I was trying to hold my tummy in, extending my hands forward and slooooowwwlllly bending, bending and more bending!! Dear God.......i didnt know I had that much space to bend forward to get the perfect posture. Then.........the unimaginable thing happen. "Proooottt".......i think somebody in front of me farted -:)) [imagine you in the class and trying to keep a straight face now].

• Half an hour later, we were told to sit on the mat and did all kinds of stretching, twisting and funny movements that I can only dream of!!!! How much bendy can a person be?!! As the minutes ticked by with me huffing and puffing trying hard to be a passable student, it finally ticked to an end.

• Obvious to any exercise the cooling session is what everyone look forward to (at least for me). And apparently for yoga, the music plays an integral part. I'm still on the mat-my back flat, my feet in the air and of course going through the right ways of breathing.........in the last 10minutes, we were told to hold the 'relaxed pose' and to just close our eyes, breathe-breathe- breathe.......and relax-relax-relax.

• Ahhhhhhh............with the air-cond full blast and soothing music that seems to lull, I literally faded away. Next thing I know the lights were off, the room was empty and the cleaner is waking me up and shooing me off so that he can close the gym.

Next to sex, I cant think of anything else thats so satisfying and relaxing at the same time -:))

HOT

David Beckham asked... "What do u see when u see the colour Red?"

I Looooveeee The Colour Red. To me Red embodies bold, assertiveness and courage.
In fact, I'm wearing Red today. From the flower in my hair to the tip of my chilly red shoes.
My energy is synchronized to Red. I feel brazen today.
(This could mean, I'll be up to something foolish and reckless..........Hehehhehehe)

There's just something sinful about Red too. The mind automatically thinks of lust, virility, passion and sensuality. On the other hand, it could also mean violent, bloody, resentment, enraged or hostility. But who in their right mind would succumb to it without being aggravated?

So lets think of Red roses full of vitality and sweet Merlot.

I'm raring to go.

BRAND NEW DAY

Its been sometime since I last went out and did something childish and had fun! Nothing major though......out cycling -:)) I've forgotten how free I felt, the wind in my face, the fresh air, the smell of newly cut grass, the flow of thoughts as clear as a newborn day.

I used to go crazy with dancing, that was when the creaking knees and swaying hips werent complaining....... Hahahah! I still enjoy it but that activity has slowed over the years as the age keeps adding up. I remember the total abandonment I felt when I let myself loose in the few things that I enjoy doing without thinking. The rush feeling, flushing face when listening to the thumping of music and just swaying to the rhythm.........racing heartbeats with contentment of simple joys.

Next on the agenda :- Futsal, Shooting Range, Go-Kart, etc.

THOTS OF THE WEEK

We often form relationships based on unreal expectations of another person. When that person shows some kind of weakness, we feel as though they have betrayed us by not being what we expect them to be. We hope to find someone with all the answers, someone we can rely on and take strength from, so we endow them with qualities they do not have. The worse is when we are disappointed with our own illusions when they let us down.

COMMUNICATIONS 101

The more I think the more I feel that communication is the foundation of society and culture. For instance, our very world is shaped by words we express and images we create. An essential but all too often forgotten skill in communicating is that of listening. Definitely we all have something to say. Sometimes we forget that others also have feelings and things to share. Sometimes having the ability to emphatize goes a long way. If my feelings are in tune with another, then I believe the words that will flow and communicated will be powerful and enjoyable.

The art of concealing and revealing; at the right time, right place and to the right people is crucial. Messages need to be authentic and then we could feel that our presence is wanted and welcomed. It is necessary to match our feelings with our words BUT to think before we speak, would add weight to our words.

I realized that there are times when I need to be silent and tolerate others. One who is tolerant understands that listening is frequently more important than talking. Tolerance is building bridges, it doesnt bear grudges but understands that life is a continuous process of making mistakes and learning from them. Tolerance is a virtue and a fruit of wisdom. I firmly believe that all have the basic right to enjoy our own culture, tradition or religion. If we are self-righteous and think that our own culture and religion are the best and that the beliefs of others are unimportant, then we develop narrow-mindedness, intolerance, resulting in conflicts of various sorts.

MORE THAN FRIENDS

• Life is a mystery. Some say its a game, to some its a battlefield and to others a journey. Whatever one may call it, there's always a way to enjoy it. One of life's blessings is friendship. There's a saying that real friendship is never having to say sorry. When I was younger everything seems straight forward and that saying made sense. Its no longer a matter of taking advantage or having to apologize. Maintaining one is more than meets the eye.

• Now that most of my friends have extended families of their own, delicate consideration and forward thinking is required for these relationships. Everybody change at one point or another. In reality nothing stays the same. Conversations will tilt about husbands, children, education, etc. Outings are limited and lacking refined sensitivity could become an issue if I'm not careful.

• Little do I know that even when all the above plays into motion, its disheartening to find out that I'm still perceived as selfish. I thought my role to belong in a 'circle of families' is to adapt, accommodate and accept thats the way it will be. If I cant, I let go because I dont share the same fundamentals. To me letting go of the things that are beyond my control means to accept, be positive and to move on. So, I'm moving on.

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly Truth

A bird told me that I'm a confused soul who lived in the past and not the future. That I'm a pessimist and that my faith doesnt come from within.

Hard cold facts that are hard to accept and harder to swallow. Moment of truth............

• Honesty to me is speaking from a clear conscience. To be honest with myself (because that is what matters to me), is to speak that which is thought of and to do that which is spoken. Such integration provides clarity. To have one form internally and another form externally creates confusion and can have a detrimental effect. Honesty is as distinctive as a flawless diamond which can never remain hidden. The intention is visible in one's actions.

• Obviously, I'm only human. Certain circumstances do interfere at some point but having a clear conscience with myself is my sign of honesty. It is the awareness of what is right and appropriate in one's role, behaviour and relationships at that particular time because the inner and outer selves resonates with each other.

• As I journey through life and meet with rough patches, faith is what keeps me going. When there are threads of doubt, fear creeps in and my faith is shaken. If that is termed as not coming from within, I admit I'm guilty as charged. I know when the mind is focused and the faith within remains unshakeable is when I see the lamp of hope keeps burning and there is a feeling of the destination being close. Its that glimmer of hope that keeps me going regardless of obstacles.

• Perhaps I'm really not an optimist. I cant help but look at my past which moves me forward. That's my essence. When I'm continually being battered by the storms of life and when my spirit keeps ebbing away, I keep saying it again and again (repetition does makes a difference) I hang on to the gift called 'Faith' - the one support which will weather the storms. Faith doesnt depend on a clever head, only belief, belief in God, self and the strength that is derived from that divine relationship.

My last thought on the matter is that if Faith is my foundation in life then I'm a weak soul who succumbs as a lesser mortal.

RISING TO CHALLENGES

I feel for someone who's facing difficulties left, right and centre........ This is what I can say abt it.

The ability to confront and resolve external and internal obstacles, tests and challenges is a power that changes a person's life. It can help others change theirs by solving problems that look impossible.

The result is high self-esteem. When the situation is not likely to change soon, it is necessary that we face the situation or people with calmness and determination. In this process we see our thoughts, habits, beliefs as well as our talents and beauty. We learn to discern right from wrong and receive strength to face the obstacles which come from within and without.

Internal obstacles are old habits of behaviour. External obstacles come from those who deliberately stand in our path of change. Tests come when we meet those who triggered fear or hate. Can we face them, see their beauty and respond to that? Obstacles come to test the strength of our ability.

Look at it this way - every moment of our life's journey is a challenge. There are no problems, only opportunities to learn, grow and help others in the process.

Being a Sore Loser :(

Try to love what you have, don't try to have what you love.

My mom once gave me that advice at the age of 9 or 10 when I lost my beloved bike to some bullies while playing at the playground. I distinctively remembered fighting before I was forced to give in to defeat. More than 20 years had passed and it translated into my behaviour of still fighting and failing because I let my guard down. When will I ever learn................

What happens when you've loved and you've had but its yanked away? The bullies win again........ :(

Valentine's Voodoo

This week seems buzzing with unsurpassed and unexpected phone calls. Left and right invitations came to celebrate LOVE. Ahhh.....the wonderful tingling and exciting feeling you get when looking forward to a good time with good company.

Since this year's celebrations falls on a weekday it slightly dampens the long activity that follows the Celebrations but nonetheless the fairer sex would still forge ahead and plan the least of all candlelight dinners and some mushy stuff that the masculine sex would not have agreed to unless and if they can score at the end of the night -:))

Oh heck.........the best is just to go with the flow. I love watching those in love express themselves in public in the funny ways that they do. Gives faith that love conquers all in their own unique way.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY...................

Am I Asking Too Much?

Sometimes life can be a burden trying to stay one step ahead,
After all the broken storms that were thrown for no good reason,
Though my heart bears the scars with no sign of healing,
Trying to push the past away, I'm still waiting for the light to change,
Learning to barely feel the pain, the thicker the skin the less the strain.

All I asked for was when I call out is give me love and affection. Keep telling me and show me the way. If u see me falling down, lift me up from the shadows and bring me to a better place. In my darkest hour be by my side as life's getting me down sometimes feeling close to defeat.

I feel the world upon my shoulder each time, standing on the edge each time. My hopes deserted me. Its hurting my pride trying to survive knowing I had no chance.

I gotta keep moving on but I cant do it on my own. Behind my tired eyes, regaining strength each day, someday soon I'll be alright.

Who is the Boss of U ?

RULE NO 1 - The Boss is Always Right
RULE NO 2 - Look at Rule No 1 -:))

I've worked for the last 11+ years. Right after school actually. I love working. Had 2 marvellous boss. The first I worked for 7 years is a calm, jovial and charming mid-40s guy who always has a quick smile for me. The current one now barks all morning and expect everything on his table yesterday.........but never bites. LOL. Two different characters (like day and night) but with the same end result. Just get it done! No doubt its basically routine stuff tho the volume is high but It triggered me that I'm quite adaptable to both and a fast learner.

I am at times confrontational even when Rule No 1 Applies but I suppose whoever came up with the saying above must've gone through what millions of others went through and slowly may adapt Rule No 2 when they become complacent. No one should settle for less but in this day and age with all the merits of Change Transformation in the Working Environment that is implemented to move forward, do we really agree to both Rules?

I think it depends on what kind of situation of life you're in that will ultimately makes or breaks u.

Fabulous February !

This month greeted me with much enthusiasm. Spent 1st Feb. White Water Rafting.

To those who know me, this is a major joke actually. I DONT SWIM. Duh.......having said that, I put on a brave front and went anyway. To make a looooooong story short.....after some major knocks when the raft overturned, couple of bruises & scrapes, shouting (the monkeys there are proud of this skill of mine -:)) and screaming.........I survived.

Oh my GOD, what an exhilaration. I've always had a major phobia of the water (scared silly actually) but now I think it has tenfold!!! The knock probably made my head clear now. Hahahahha..........I scored more respect from friends that I went with and the proudest moment I had was when everyone hooted for me because I was knocked into the rushing river at the final overturn, rapid 5 and not a sooner later.
____________________________________________________________________

Have u ever get bummed out while waiting for flights? That is the only thing that I cant stand when travelling. 2nd of Feb, I was uncomfortably waiting with my boarding pass to Bangkok. Reached there in the afternoon and spent another sickening long time stuck in traffic. Urghhhh.......

Aaaaah.........but the nice thing about being around the Thais......they are so accommodative, so respectful, so nice.......and with lots of exciting things to do in Bangkok.......what am I complaining, huh -:))